Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years,primary schools focus too much on formal learning this has became the major talk of society. While some believe that this it needs to be this way, I believe that primary school should should children playing as much as they study in classroom. This is mainly because playing also helps children be cognitively active & this helps their overall physical health.

The congnitive health when children play & learn in primary school classroom this helps them with thinking ability, which can be helpful concentrating in classroom rather than studying in classroom without playing. In long term without playing brain does develop without the physical activity, studies suggest that children must play outside the classroom to increase their overall productivity, much focus on formal education can make kids breserk. For instance, primary schools who focus both on learning & playing the children have achievements.

Another compelling reason is that overall physical fitnesss. This factor plays a major attention beacuse physical fitness is as important as mental fitness. In addititon to phyiscal fitness also there are other learning they tend learn skills like decision making, team building, emotional attachment to playing, calculative predictions, bonding & many other life skills. These are the skills that helps build their future without finding it difficult to lead their life. For instance, physical fitness person has to have a well co-ordination with others & himself, by teachimg them play & learn they can be able to do multi tasking. As a result, physical fitness is also important this provide further justification for my opinion.

In concluison, i think that children has play as well as learn in the primary school. The main reasons are that it supports cognitive health & physical health. Although the some might oppose this statement, I believe that overall consequences of my position more significant.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. While you mention cognitive and physical benefits, the arguments are not fully extended with specific, concrete examples. For instance, the mention of 'life skills' is a good point, but it remains vague. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph provides a clear, well-supported argument that directly answers the 'how important' aspect of the prompt with more sophisticated reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'Another compelling reason' and 'In conclusion'. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. Some transitions feel mechanical, and the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the second paragraph where the connection between 'brain development' and 'physical activity' is slightly disjointed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next will help improve the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is somewhat limited and repetitive. You use basic terms like 'good' or 'important' frequently. There are also some noticeable errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'congnitive', 'physical fitnesss', and 'breserk' (likely meant 'berserk'). To improve, you should aim to use a wider range of academic vocabulary and ensure correct spelling. Try to incorporate more precise collocations to express your ideas more effectively, as the current range is sufficient for communication but lacks the precision required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'children has play'), missing articles, and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'primary schools who focus both on learning & playing the children have achievements'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary use of ampersands (&) which should be avoided in formal academic writing. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like verb tense consistency and pluralization.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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