Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays, some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning which is crucial in this modern world, whereas school should make a schedule in which children play as well as learn in the primary school classroom. In my estimation, there is a balance in between learning and play time.
Fristly, schools want to focus too much learning on formal learning, and that is so crucial in this world where everything is going fast and things changes rapidly. If school does not prepare a student in this way consequently, these children feel left out among those who have learnt more than them. Nevertheless this routine can ruin their mind with overloaded learning.
Conversely, children should learn but also, they needs a balance life in their studies and play as well as. Primary level for formal learning is too much for them. This concept sounds a pressure for children, and which is not better for them in this young age. Children will feel like they are in a competetion. There can be health concerns.
In conclusion, it is better if children play as well as learn in the primary school classroom rather than concentrate on formal learning too much because that pressure in the early stage is not appropriate for children.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 212 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas, which remain superficial and under-supported. While you address both parts of the prompt—the extent of agreement and the importance of play—the arguments are repetitive and lack specific examples or depth. For instance, you mention 'health concerns' and 'competition' but do not elaborate on how these manifest in a primary school setting. To improve, you must expand your points with concrete evidence or personal experience to ensure a more thorough exploration of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive start. However, the logical progression is hindered by limited use of cohesive devices. You rely on basic transitions like 'Fristly' (spelling error) and 'Conversely', but the connections between sentences are often mechanical or abrupt. The lack of development makes the flow feel disjointed. To achieve a higher band, you should use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly supports your overall position.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for basic communication but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You use repetitive phrasing, such as 'focus too much on formal learning' and 'play as well as learn', which appear multiple times. There are also errors in word choice, such as 'make a schedule' instead of 'incorporate' or 'balance life' instead of 'balanced lifestyle'. To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and synonyms to avoid repetition and demonstrate a more sophisticated command of the language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'things changes rapidly' (subject-verb agreement), 'they needs a balance life' (subject-verb agreement and noun form), and 'which is not better for them' (awkward relative clause usage). Punctuation is also inconsistent. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring complex sentences are constructed accurately.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.