Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The focused formal learning provided by schools to primary students is becoming highly debated topic. Some people believes that children must focus on sports acitives also, while other argue they must taught only formal book chapters. In this essay we will examine why i totally disagree with this viewpoint of only dedicated formal learning and what are the importnace of playing in early school.
The focused formal learning without any physical activity makes children lazy. This is the resoan, i diagree with the formal learning because it makes children lathergic. Moreover, in the early age childrens body must be physcially fit restricting them to book knowledge can harm their body later. However, they should not focus totally on playing i think learning and extra actives must be balanced. For example, research stated that students who avoid playing sports due to increase in course work later impacted by physical issues. This makes them lazy and lose their physical fitness.
Playing any kind of sports is very important for students in their primary school. It helps them to relieve stress and improves focus while studing. For instance, an American scientiest proved that students who do both plays and study, usually gets higher marks in exam as well as remains physically fit. Therefore playing is important activity for childrens in primary school.
In conclusion, focused formal learning has adverse effects on children life. It makes them lazy. So i disagree with the point of focus formal learning too primary students. Moreover, playing has a vital role in childrens life which helps them to relieve stress and remain fit.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development is somewhat repetitive. You state that formal learning makes children 'lazy' or 'lethargic' multiple times without providing a nuanced exploration of the benefits of formal education or a deeper analysis of the pedagogical value of play. While your position is clear, the arguments lack depth and rely on generalizations. To reach a higher band, you should expand on how play specifically fosters cognitive or social development rather than focusing primarily on physical fitness.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'For example', and 'In conclusion' to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel abrupt. For instance, the jump between the introduction and the first body paragraph could be smoother. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes repetitive, and the flow within paragraphs is hindered by simple sentence structures that do not always connect logically to the next point. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'lazy', 'important', and 'study'. There are also some noticeable errors in word choice and form, such as 'acitives' (activities), 'lathergic' (lethargic), and 'scientiest' (scientist). While your meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated or topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'pedagogical', 'holistic development', 'cognitive stimulation') limits the score. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring correct spelling of academic terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('Some people believes', 'childrens body'), missing articles, and incorrect pluralization ('childrens'). While you attempt complex sentences, they are often marred by these errors. The punctuation is generally functional, but the frequency of basic grammatical slips prevents the text from being considered error-free. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and plural forms will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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