Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that primary educational institutes pay more attention on classroom learning. I strongly agree with this view because only classroom lectures can pressurise the students, it can lead to mental health problems. Children should play along with their studies.

To commence with, too much academic learning at primary level can put strain on the children. This is largely because classroom room pressure such as, lectures, and assignments can directly effect children mental wellbeing. For instance, a student who has classroom pressure cannot perform well in his exam although he studies well, which can lead to bad grades. Thus, putting huge pressure on students at such young age can have bad influence on them.

Secondly, I believe that it is very essential for students to engage in fun activities besides their academic performance. This is mainly because different types of play like sports or video games can develop their cognitive thinking. Due to this, they can relax after studies pressure. For example, The students who take part in sports, mostly have fresh minds and do excellence in their academic results. Thus, they can even achieve higher grades than those students who just into studies. Therefore, primary schools should focus on classroom learning as well as encourage students to play.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that there should be a balanced approach in classroom learning and doing fun activities, primary school should focus on traditional classroom learning as well as encourage the students to do different activities along their studies for better mental health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the argument that classroom pressure leads to mental health issues is mentioned but not deeply explored with specific, nuanced evidence. The suggestion that 'video games' are a primary way to develop cognitive thinking is a bit simplistic and could have been better supported by discussing structured play or social interaction. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with more sophisticated reasoning and concrete, real-world examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is occasionally mechanical or repetitive. Referencing is generally clear, though some transitions between sentences feel slightly abrupt, such as the jump from 'bad grades' to 'bad influence'. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the flow of ideas could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that the relationship between sentences is more fluid and less formulaic.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'cognitive thinking' and 'wellbeing'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'pay more attention on' (should be 'to'), 'classroom room pressure', and 'do excellence in their academic results' (should be 'excel in'). The range is sufficient to communicate, but the lack of precision and occasional awkward phrasing prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on collocations and more natural phrasing would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'can pressurise the students, it can lead to' (comma splice), 'directly effect' (should be 'affect'), 'at such young age' (missing article), and 'those students who just into studies' (missing verb). These errors do not impede communication, but they are noticeable and occur throughout the text. To improve, the student should focus on subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and avoiding comma splices by using appropriate conjunctions or punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.