Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Now a days access of internet is almost in very other hands and by getting a knowledge , there is a debate going on that in kinder garden, schools are focussing a lot on in formal learning therefor in this easy i am going to explain why there focus should not be in formal learning but rather it should be balance.
I do not agree with is opinion, as a growing child every part of its body is growing as well as its brain, at that age if school will only focus on formal learning then at what point they will enjoy and learn new things? Child in this stage is all exploring about them selfs and while exploring they get to know lots of new things and eventually they learn too. For example in my relative a child was not openly playful he was just cautions about if i do any thing wrong then what will happen. Am i going to be scrolled by my parents, so he just kept on sitting on the chair.
Playing and learning in classroom is super import for a child as they will learn and they can also enjoy. While being adult will they ever get a chance to play? definitely not. As a example we can see ourself, we hardly get a time to even talk to our parents because we all are so busy building up our life.
In conclusion, playing are learning both are import however, primary school should focus should not be only on formal learning it should be balance, then a child becomes confidant person.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development is quite limited. While you state your position clearly, the arguments are underdeveloped and rely on anecdotal evidence rather than broader reasoning. For instance, the example of the relative is too specific and does not effectively support the argument about the importance of play in a classroom setting. To reach a higher band, you need to extend your ideas by discussing the cognitive, social, or emotional benefits of play in a more formal, analytical manner. The introduction is also slightly off-topic by mentioning the internet, which is irrelevant to the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow between ideas is often disjointed. Cohesive devices are used, but they are frequently misused or mechanical (e.g., 'therefor in this easy', 'As a example'). The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the transition between the internet mention and the main topic. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks logical progression. You need to focus on using a wider variety of linking words more accurately to connect your sentences and ideas more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, often relying on simple phrasing. There are several errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'kinder garden' (kindergarten), 'focussing', 'easy' (essay), 'cautions' (cautious), and 'scrolled' (scolded). These errors occasionally impede the reader's understanding. To improve, you should aim to use more precise academic vocabulary and ensure correct spelling. The range is currently insufficient to express complex ideas clearly, which limits the score for this criterion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('playing are learning both are import'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, which makes the text difficult to follow. While there is an attempt at complex structures, they are often faulty, such as 'if school will only focus on formal learning then at what point they will enjoy'. You need to focus on mastering basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement before attempting more complex grammatical structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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