Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

yes, i totaly agree with thet the primary schools is only focus on formal knolage. Thay dont teach us about real life problems.

In my opintion pepole think the book knolege is only nesesoury to sucsess but they all wrong becouse the formal book knolage is don't teach us how to deal with real life problem for example stress,dipretion,over work lod exstra thet formal knolage is sharp childern mind but they don't teach them thet how to fight with thet type of problems. and thets why kides in teenage they dont have any why to fight with thier problems and they choose wrong and elegl parth whys like drugs,drink extra extra as and as a result thet kid complitly distroyeted him self.

The solution of this problem is to change our educeted systum teach them a real life lisones, formal educetion is important but in my words social educetion is nesesory for today and twomors genretion if thet type of cheng hapen we see aa larag dicrees in drug consuming teenagers or mentel hospitels like thet. And also i think and i thik we give them a chanc to grow tach the children to chocs thier own disition give thep to why to play to do somthing crietive open thir mind and let them go with ther on flow don't trap them like a animel or don't give them work like a laber they just a litel flower cute,butifull,and positive dont crush them

in conclution we see we want to understend and chenge the coront educetion systume

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, expressing a clear position on the focus of primary schools and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention 'real life problems' like stress and depression, the explanation is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. The argument regarding the need for 'social education' is relevant, but the connection between formal learning and negative outcomes like drug use is asserted rather than logically supported. To improve, focus on providing more nuanced examples and ensuring your arguments are fully explored rather than just stated.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the progression of ideas is often disjointed. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link sentences and ideas effectively; for example, the transition between the problem of formal education and the proposed solution is abrupt. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the use of punctuation is inconsistent, which disrupts the flow of the text. To reach a higher band, you should use a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in contrast') to create a more logical and smooth progression between your points.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, often relying on basic words like 'good', 'bad', or 'things'. There are numerous spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'dipretion' (depression), 'elegl' (illegal), 'parth' (path), and 'coront' (current), which occasionally make the meaning difficult to grasp. While you attempt to use some topic-related vocabulary like 'formal education' and 'social education', the overall range is insufficient to express complex ideas with precision. Focusing on learning the correct spelling of common academic terms and expanding your vocabulary to include more precise synonyms will significantly improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'primary schools is only focus'), incorrect verb tenses, and sentence fragments. The sentence structures are predominantly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences are often marred by errors in syntax and punctuation. For instance, the run-on sentence in the second paragraph makes it difficult to follow your argument. To improve, you should focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and practicing the correct use of articles and prepositions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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