Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There has been a debate ,whether primary schools have shifted more of their attention towards learning and discouraging the importance of playing. This essay will argue on both methods.

In our world enters, an era of rapid progress and innovation, the result of knowledge has become one of the primary necessities for a secure future. For this reason, educators have increasingly introduced several learning methods from an early age. Children are practies not only how to read, write and perform mathematical calculations, but also how to process increasing information and apply these skills in their daily life. Consequently, they are commonly give more homework and a considerable amount of information to memorise. On the one hand, this thing can improve children's cognitive abilities for future academic challenges. On the other hand, studying for long periods can be difficult activity, that requires regular breaks to maintain concentration and mental health .

Where play becomes important. Incorporating short breaks between lessons can help children refresh their minds and reduce stress. Activities such as running, playing hide-and-seek or simply walking around can provide children with an opportunity to relax both mentally and physically. Furthermore, physical activity can improve mood and help regulate stress, making children more willing to return to their studies with greater concentration. As a result, they may become more engaged in active learning rather than simply memorising information passively.

In conclusion, I believe that primary schools should provide an environment in which studying and playing go hand in hand. Although academic learning is undoubtedly important for children's future success, excessive formal education without regular opportunities for recreation may negatively affect their concentration and well-being. Therefore, play should not be regarded as unnecessary, but rather as an important tool that can refresh children and ultimately enhance their ability to learn and retain information.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding the focus on formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development is somewhat limited; while you mention that formal learning improves cognitive abilities, this point could be expanded with more specific examples of how 'active learning' differs from 'passive memorisation'. The essay covers all requirements well, but the depth of analysis remains at a general level rather than providing a more nuanced exploration of the balance between the two.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organised with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate the arguments. Cohesive devices such as 'Consequently', 'On the one hand', and 'Furthermore' are used to guide the reader through the argument. However, there are minor issues with flow; for instance, the sentence 'Where play becomes important' is a sentence fragment that disrupts the transition between paragraphs. Improving the connection between these ideas would enhance the overall coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some precision, using terms like 'cognitive abilities', 'innovation', and 'passive learning'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'Children are practies' (should be 'practiced' or 'taught') and 'this thing' (which is too informal for an academic essay). While the vocabulary is adequate to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the sophistication and variety of less common lexical items that would be required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'There has been a debate ,whether' (punctuation error), 'Children are practies' (verb form error), and 'commonly give' (should be 'given'). Additionally, 'this thing' is grammatically weak. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are punctuated correctly, particularly when using introductory clauses or conjunctions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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