Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There has been a debate ,whether primary schools have shifted more of their attention towards learning and discouraging the importance of playing. This essay will argue on both methods.

In our world enters, an era of rapid progress and innovation, the result of knowledge has become one of the primary necessities for a secure future. For this reason, educators have increasingly introduced several learning methods from an early age. Children are practies not only how to read, write and perform mathematical calculations, but also how to process increasing information and apply these skills in their daily life. Consequently, they are commonly give more homework and a considerable amount of information to memorise. On the one hand, this thing can improve children’s cognitive abilities for future academic challenges. On the other hand, studying for long periods can be difficult activity, that requires regular breaks to maintain concentration and mental health .

Where play becomes important. Incorporating short breaks between lessons can help children refresh their minds and reduce stress. Activities such as running, playing hide-and-seek or simply walking around can provide children with an opportunity to relax both mentally and physically. Furthermore, physical activity can improve mood and help regulate stress, making children more willing to return to their studies with greater concentration. As a result, they may become more engaged in active learning rather than simply memorising information passively.

In conclusion, I believe that primary schools should provide an environment in which studying and playing go hand in hand. Although academic learning is undoubtedly important for children’s future success, excessive formal education without regular opportunities for recreation may negatively affect their concentration and well-being. Therefore, play should not be regarded as unnecessary, but rather as an important tool that can refresh children and ultimately enhance their ability to learn and retain information.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding the focus on formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are logically developed. The essay acknowledges the necessity of academic rigor while effectively arguing for the integration of play. The arguments are supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of cognitive benefits and the role of breaks in stress reduction. To reach a higher band, the student could provide more specific examples or deeper analysis of how 'play' specifically translates into long-term educational outcomes, rather than just focusing on immediate stress relief.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the progression of ideas is logical. Cohesive devices such as 'consequently', 'on the one hand', 'furthermore', and 'in conclusion' are used effectively to link ideas. However, there are minor issues with sentence-level cohesion, such as the phrase 'Where play becomes important' at the start of the second body paragraph, which feels slightly disjointed. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate, and the flow of information is easy to follow throughout the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate and appropriate for the task. The student uses some good collocations like 'cognitive abilities', 'academic challenges', and 'active learning'. There are some minor errors in word choice and form, such as 'Children are practies' (should be 'practiced' or 'taught') and 'the result of knowledge' (which is slightly unnatural). While the range is sufficient to convey the message clearly, it lacks the more sophisticated or 'less common' lexical items that would characterize a higher band score. The vocabulary is functional but not particularly precise or varied.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'There has been a debate ,whether' (incorrect punctuation), 'they are commonly give' (should be 'given'), and 'this thing can improve' (vague reference). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. The student attempts complex structures, but control is inconsistent. Improving the accuracy of verb forms and refining punctuation would significantly enhance the quality of the writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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