Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Formal Education is believed to be of great importance and many individuals argue that it should not be focused too much in primary school. I agree, that children in schools should be taught as well as there should be time for them to play it builds discipline and learning mindset.

Many children nowadays when home have easy access to smartphones and social media it disrupts their way of thinking and takes away their learning habits. They get irritated when parents try to take away these gadgets. In school these smart phones are not allowed and they can work on their creativity so teachers should allocate time for their learning create habits that would help as they grow. From a young age if they are not taught or educated formally it would lead to lack of focus on learning ability and developing mind would only crave for playing or scrolling on smartphones.

Furthermore, i also believe that Physical activities are also essential. While playing they can work in groups or individually and from young age get idea of how to handle situations in groups and when working individually. Playing also help reduce mental stress and they can make memories and friends through activities in school. Many children are physically gifted at birth and are more into sports than other children for them as well these sport activities are necessary in schools along with education

in conclusion, a balance of both formal education and physical activities are necessary for children in school as they help develop learning habit and maintain growth in their bodies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The argument regarding smartphones is a bit tangential to the core debate about 'formal learning' versus 'play' in a primary school setting. While you express a clear position, the ideas could be more deeply explored. For instance, you mention that play builds a 'learning mindset,' but you do not fully explain how this occurs in a classroom context. To improve, ensure that every point directly supports your stance on the balance between formal education and play, rather than focusing on external factors like smartphone usage at home.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive. For example, the transition 'Furthermore, i also believe' is slightly redundant. Additionally, some sentences lack clear logical links; for instance, the jump from smartphone usage to the need for formal education could be smoother. Referencing is generally clear, but the flow between ideas within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence builds logically upon the previous one.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. You rely on common phrases like 'great importance' and 'many children.' There are some instances of slightly unnatural collocation, such as 'developing mind would only crave for playing.' While your meaning is always clear, you should aim to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to education and child development, such as 'pedagogical approaches,' 'holistic development,' or 'cognitive stimulation,' to demonstrate a higher level of lexical control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally hinder the flow. For example, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ('Playing also help reduce') and missing articles ('from young age'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and capitalization (e.g., 'i also believe'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they are frequent enough to keep the score in the 6.0 range. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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