Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Undoubtedly, primary education is an essential part of today's world. The growing

influence of formal learning has sparked various debates. Some individuals believe

primary schools focus too much on academic study, whilst others opine that play is

equally important. I partially agree with these statements, and I will explain my

viewpoints along with a solid conclusion in the following deliberations.

To commence with, the first and foremost point that comes to my mind is that formal

learning builds a strong educational foundation. To elaborate, it improves reading,

writing, and mathematical skills. Furthermore, children become more disciplined and

confident. Moreover, these skills help them in higher education. For example,

according to a survey conducted by BBC News, it was revealed that many people

agreed with the importance of formal learning.

On the other hand, the latter viewpoint is concerned with the importance of play.

People favour it because it develops creativity, teamwork, and communication skills.

Additionally, playing reduces stress and keeps children physically active. For instance,

as per the feedback gained by the Government of Australia, about 90 percent of people

suggested that play is an important part of primary education.

To recapitulate, as every coin has two sides, similarly, this essay also has two sides.

However, both formal learning and play should be taken into account because they are

equally important for the overall development of children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, acknowledging the debate on formal learning and discussing the importance of play. However, the essay is significantly under the 250-word minimum, which limits the depth of development. While the position is clear, the supporting arguments are somewhat superficial. For instance, the examples provided (BBC News and Australian Government surveys) are vague and lack specific detail or personal insight, which is expected at higher bands. To improve, you must expand your arguments with more detailed explanations and concrete examples to meet the length requirement and demonstrate a more thorough exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The use of cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Furthermore', 'On the other hand', and 'To recapitulate' is effective and helps guide the reader through the argument. However, the paragraphing is somewhat mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be more sophisticated. The transition between the two main body paragraphs is clear, but the overall structure feels slightly formulaic. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that ideas within paragraphs are more tightly connected.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate and sufficient for the task. You demonstrate an ability to use academic phrases like 'educational foundation', 'overall development', and 'latter viewpoint'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is a reliance on fairly common collocations. There are no significant errors in word choice, but the vocabulary lacks the precision and sophistication required for a higher band. To improve, try to incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to pedagogy and child development, and aim for more nuanced expressions rather than relying on standard transitional phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay displays a good level of grammatical control. You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'Some individuals believe... whilst others opine that...', and '...as every coin has two sides, similarly, this essay also has two sides.' The sentences are generally error-free, and punctuation is used correctly. While the range of structures is adequate, it is not particularly wide or ambitious. To achieve a higher band, try to incorporate more complex grammatical forms, such as conditional sentences or passive voice constructions, while maintaining the current level of accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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