Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In recent years, it is often argued that elementary schools should pay attention to formal education in the first place, while others believe that students should be encouraged to value ethics and participate in extracurricular activities. Although formal learning is the most important part of school education, I believe students should be given moral values by letting them play.

On the one hand, providing students with quality education is the main concern of schools. Though they try to make strong foundation of students by teaching them via modern systems. For instance, most of the schools in our society, they just confine kids to a typical and traditional mode while teaching them the same repetitive tasks. Meanwhile, they do not encourage students take part in competitions and sports while restricting them to the limited area. Consequently, students are unable to think beyond their boundaries as well as their critical thinking and interpersonal skills are undermined.

On the other hand, giving students plenty of projects makes them quite responsible and broadens their horizons. For example, in big schools, students of primary classes are more intellectually developed and creative that allow them to participate in district level competitions. These schools tend to work not only on personal grooming of child but also on teamwork by letting students play under a roof, which not only make them physically active but also make them feel relaxed. Resultantly, producing more productive outcomes with higher competence.

In my opinion, though formal education has a vast range of benefits, making students to remember a plenty of information, I believe schools should focus on providing moral values and their tend towards syllabus should be concept base that could develop creativity among students.

All things considered, formal education providing students with knowledge, but giving them pace to play and participate in extra curricular pursuits allow them to implement moral values by turn taking and make them well-groomed.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. You maintain a clear position throughout, advocating for a balance between academic rigor and play-based learning. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While you provide reasons for your stance, some arguments, such as the mention of 'district level competitions,' are a bit vague and could be better linked to the core argument about moral development. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph provides a more detailed explanation of how play specifically fosters the 'moral values' you mention, rather than just listing general benefits.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'Consequently' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are instances where the flow between sentences is interrupted by minor grammatical issues. For example, the sentence 'Though they try to make strong foundation...' is a fragment that disrupts the logical progression. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence connects smoothly to the next will enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'interpersonal skills,' 'intellectually developed,' and 'extracurricular pursuits.' There are some instances of slightly unnatural word choices or collocations, such as 'making students to remember' instead of 'requiring students to memorize' and 'their tend towards syllabus' which is unclear. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, you should aim to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing to move into the higher band range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is a positive step. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of your ideas. Notable issues include sentence fragments (e.g., 'Though they try to make strong foundation of students by teaching them via modern systems'), missing articles ('make strong foundation'), and subject-verb agreement errors ('which not only make them physically active'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your argument, they are frequent enough to limit your score. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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