Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, focusing too much on formal learning has prompted considerable debate, particularly regarding the importance for children to play as well as learn in the primary school. The question of whether it is important to play as well as learn in the primary school has become the central point of discussion.

Focusing on formal and traditional learning is undoubtedly crucial for children for their growth and development, to upskill themselves, but continuous learning or studying for children is harsh for them which may affect adversely. Focusing on learning without any break brings boredom which is detrimental for their long term growth. Learning should never be felt like a burden, learning is something which should be enjoyed by children so that it can encourage them to learn. So, I think it is much important for them to play at the same time to nurture their minds so that they can freshen up their mind. Overly focusing on learning and studies makes a child feel like confined within a box, conversely focusing on playing or other curricular activities makes one's mind fresh and can contribute to thinking out of the box. Also, productivity decreases because of formal learning. In this competitive world, focusing on how technology is evolving it's very important to think creatively, which often formal studies lack. Playing is important so that one can get free from formal learning and stresses and this can keep one healthy and fit for long run. If parents pressure their kids for traditional learning it can create unwillingness and fear in their mind for studies which is absolutely not good for them, so it is also important for parents and the tutors to form the learnings in a playful format, like creating interactive quizzes with attractive visuals or games quizzes for kids to attract them towards studies.

Formal learning is important to children, however, playing is also crucial for them. So, if we try to make studies or learnings more interactive and transform that into playful format, this will be beneficial for long run.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout, advocating for a balanced approach. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive. For instance, the argument that play 'freshens the mind' is restated in various ways without adding significant depth or specific examples. To reach a higher band, you should provide more concrete examples, such as how specific subjects (e.g., mathematics or science) could be taught through play, rather than relying on general statements about 'interactive quizzes'.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organized, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the paragraphing is weak; the main body is contained within a single, very long paragraph, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used, but they are sometimes mechanical or repetitive (e.g., 'also' is used frequently to start sentences). To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, distinct aspect of your argument to improve the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'detrimental', 'upskill', and 'curricular activities'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'form the learnings' instead of 'design the curriculum' or 'structure the lessons'. Additionally, some phrasing is slightly unnatural, such as 'freshen up their mind' and 'game quizzes'. While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on learning collocations rather than just individual words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'it is much important' (should be 'very important'), 'learning is something which should be enjoyed' (slightly wordy), and 'focusing on how technology is evolving it's very important' (comma splice/run-on). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly regarding comma usage. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your complex sentences are punctuated correctly to avoid run-on structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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