Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Professional education along with sports play a key role in making students more responsible and confident at schools. Some individuals believe that primary schools emphasis more on formal ways of learning. I am not completely in the favour of this notion. Kids should maintain a balance between their studies and playing hours because both activities are helpful in transforming them into a well-mannered citizen.

Starting with a fact, formal education is the basic part of students' etiquettes. Without this awareness, children would not be able to behave in a disciplined way during their practical life. But at the same, we cannot ignore the importance of extra-curricular activities. For example, people always admire a person who is logical, intellectual, hard working and physically fit. Combining academics with other activities allows students to become this kind of person in their future.

Adding more details to this, sports are also very crucial in establishing other essential qualities such as team working, creativity, better communication skills and self-confidence. For instance, kids who regularly participate in physical and creative games are more active and mentally free of stress.

Another paramount reason is that taking part in different games allows the athletes to build a personality that would enable them to face the difficult situations. While being in a competition, people learn to control their anger. Another point that everyone should keep in their mind you should not play athletics with the only ambition of winning. No doubt, being a champion is really an honour but we should also focus on other experiences that we gain through our participation. These are far more fruitful than winning in a long run.

Concluding this, I would say in order build a charming personality, students should improve their educational performances but also spare some time for other productive activities such as indoor or outdoor sports.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. Ideas are relevant, such as the mention of 'team working' and 'stress reduction', though some points, like the advice on not playing with the 'ambition of winning', are slightly tangential to the core question of why play is important in a primary school setting. The development is generally sufficient, though it could benefit from more specific examples of how these activities are integrated into a classroom environment to fully satisfy the 'to what extent' aspect.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central topic, such as the benefits of sports or the development of personality. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Starting with a fact', 'Adding more details', and 'Concluding this'. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive. The referencing is generally clear, though the flow between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother to better connect the concepts of formal education and extracurricular benefits.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some attempts at less common items like 'paramount', 'intellectual', and 'transforming'. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'practical life' instead of 'real-world situations', and 'mentally free of stress' instead of 'mentally relaxed' or 'stress-free'. The phrase 'charming personality' is also slightly informal for an academic essay. While the range is sufficient to convey meaning clearly, it lacks the precision and sophistication required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'I am not completely in the favour of this notion' (should be 'in favour of'), 'at the same' (should be 'at the same time'), and 'in a long run' (should be 'in the long run'). Additionally, there are punctuation and phrasing issues, such as the run-on sentence: 'Another point that everyone should keep in their mind you should not play athletics...'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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