Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It has been observed that, junior schools give more attention to traditional learning techniques.Although some people believe that it is same as important for child to enjoy as well as to gain knowledge from traditional classrooms. I firmly agree with given statement . My inclination is elaborated in ensuing paragraph and with relevant examples.

The foremost argument to justify my stand is that children can learn very easily for example when children play their mind got really relaxed afterward so it is very helpful for every child to understanding the topic very easily.For instance, child got really active minded due to physical activities. Besides this, it is also true that children are more into mobile games instead of physical games or mindfulness games,So when children play they can enjoy their time for example most of the child at home spend most of their time in mobile phones and television so when they are present in school their screen time can reduce significantly.

Furthermore, The other reason to prove my point is less productivity.We all klnow children this days are less productive as compares to older generation so with the help of play and learn method their productivity could be increase very easily.

On the contrary,Some people counter claim the mention support.The foremost arguments they do is distraction,As children are more naive they can be distracted very easily from their main purpose ,that is education .

To conclude the discussion ,it can be said that despite the fact of distraction and naive nature, my reason for productivity and active mindness while learning are more logicallly accepted.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention that play helps children relax and improves productivity, these points are not fully extended with specific, convincing examples. The argument remains somewhat superficial. For instance, the link between 'less productivity' and 'older generations' is asserted but not clearly explained or supported. To reach a higher band, you should provide more detailed reasoning and concrete illustrations of how play specifically enhances cognitive or social development in a primary school setting.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. While you use cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' and 'On the contrary', they are occasionally used incorrectly or in a way that feels forced. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the sentence 'The foremost arguments they do is distraction', where the connection to the previous paragraph is weak. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks the necessary flow to guide the reader smoothly through your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There is a reliance on basic terms like 'very easily', 'very helpful', and 'very active'. You attempt some topic-specific vocabulary such as 'traditional learning techniques' and 'mindfulness games', but there are also instances of word-choice errors, such as 'active mindness' (which is not a standard term) and 'more logicallly accepted'. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoiding repetitive, simplistic intensifiers.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('children this days are less productive'), missing articles ('for child'), and punctuation errors (spacing issues after commas and periods). The sentence structure is often fragmented or run-on, such as 'For instance, child got really active minded due to physical activities.' While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the response from reaching a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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