Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Education systems today have been made more complex for the students of any level , they have overburdened the students with excessive test sessions without providing them actual exposure of real world. I strongly agrees , that primary schools and their teachers are more focused on formal learning without giving students real exposures of the practical world, In this discussion essay i will justify my point of view with relevant examples.

Commencing with the fact that today, Primary schools are more focused on improving their reputations by getting top positions by their respective students among their competitors. In this cycle of getting a better repute by a certain primary schools, they ignore the mental health of their students, they don't provide student with real experiences or exposures of practical life that helps in the character development of the individual student. They are mainly focused on the test sessions, they conduct lot of exams through out the year and does not focus on the co curricular activities of students. In the early ages, especially, during the times of primary schools, students are overburdened with excessive exam sessions they don't have the time for co curricular activities like sports, debate competitions etc they are mainly focused on improving their grades so that they can get good percentages, In this viscous cycle, students lack leadership qualities , they have stage phobias, they are not mentally ready to counter difficult scenarios , most of all due to this education system , students lacks the desired abilities that helps in the personality development of a student. For instance , in Pakistan out of every 50 student , 30 to 34 students have stage phobia, they become introvert they cant speak or present their point of view regarding any topic in a group of people.

Another reason , is that teachers are not providing enough attentions or u can say they are not providing equal attention to all the students , they simply focus on the bright students and consider them their favorite students, meanwhile rest of the students are neglected if they are not performing well in their studies, thats the reason these students will think of themselves as a failure throughout their lives and they will put no efforts in improving themselves, all because these ordinary students have no one who can support them or recognize their actual talents. For example ; if a student is good at sports rather then studies, his teachers will only judge him by his studies rather then judging him or supporting him in sports in which he is actually good at.

Their should be a balance between the studies and co curricular activities . As we

know all work and no play will make students mentally retard and they become dull and lame. Activities like playing football, cricket, volleyball etc helps students to remain active as well as these games provide them a sense of leadership, cooperation, helps them in making strategies and prepare them to counter difficult scenarios that they will face in their later life. So i think, these games help student to sharpen their mind as well as help them to remain physically and mentally active.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive, particularly in the second and third paragraphs, where the focus on 'overburdening' and 'lack of co-curricular activities' is restated rather than extended. The example provided regarding Pakistan is relevant but lacks nuance. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on providing more diverse arguments, such as the cognitive benefits of play or the psychological necessity of social interaction, rather than focusing solely on the negative aspects of the current system.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Commencing with the fact that' and 'Another reason', but they are sometimes used mechanically or inappropriately, such as the comma splice in '...practical world, In this discussion essay...'. Referencing is generally clear, though the flow between sentences is occasionally hindered by repetitive phrasing. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate the introduction, body arguments, and conclusion, which helps the reader follow the progression of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'viscous cycle' (likely meaning 'vicious cycle'), 'mentally retard' (which is highly inappropriate and offensive), and 'dull and lame'. These errors occasionally impede the professional tone of the essay. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'co-curricular' and 'personality development', the overall range is limited, and the reliance on simple descriptors prevents a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. These include subject-verb agreement issues ('students lacks', 'teachers are not providing... or u can say'), punctuation errors (excessive use of commas instead of periods), and informal language ('u can say'). While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors is high enough to distract the reader. To improve, the student needs to focus on basic sentence construction, proper punctuation, and avoiding informal abbreviations.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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