Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This is a highly contentious issue with divided opinions. Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, while others think that children should play as well as learn at primary school. I would like to point out that, at the primary level, children should both play and learn because both are important for their development.

On the one hand, it is widely believed that at primary school age, children are new to learning, and this is their basic class where they learn more and have to perform best to achieve future goals. For example, they focus on other activities, like playing all the time, which can cause problems because children don't study.

On the other hand, it's widely believed that play is as important as learning. If children study all the time, they will be burdened and not study well. Meanwhile, some studies give up from studies they say studying is boring. So people think children should play as well as learn in primary school. for example while studying teacher conduct activities which make study easy like to make mathematics subject easy make a 3 D chart to expalin the question this can enhance children's and involve in study through activities. I could not agree with the idea that children both learn and play because both are important for development. One of the main reasons behind this is highly beneficial for children's future growth; children learn and play at a time.

In conclusion, to sum up, formal learning has its own benefits, while play is also important for children's development, so school has to focus on both.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. The argument in the second paragraph is somewhat contradictory, suggesting that play causes children not to study, while the third paragraph attempts to argue for a balance. The conclusion is clear, but the overall position is slightly muddled by the phrasing 'I could not agree with the idea that children both learn and play' in the third paragraph, which seems to contradict the intended stance. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus and that your arguments are logically consistent throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'. There are also issues with sentence-level cohesion; for example, the sentence 'Meanwhile, some studies give up from studies they say studying is boring' is disjointed and lacks clear logical flow. The transition between the argument for play and the final conclusion is abrupt. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one would significantly improve the flow of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band score. There is a reliance on basic terms like 'study', 'learn', and 'important'. Some phrases are used incorrectly, such as 'some studies give up from studies', which is unclear. The attempt to use more specific vocabulary, such as 'contentious issue', is a positive step, but the overall range is limited. To reach a higher band, focus on using more academic collocations and synonyms to avoid repetition and to express ideas with greater nuance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'teacher conduct activities' (subject-verb agreement), 'make a 3 D chart to expalin the question' (awkward phrasing), and 'children learn and play at a time' (incorrect collocation). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some run-on sentences and missing commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors suggests a need for more careful proofreading and a stronger grasp of basic sentence construction and verb tenses.

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