Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that primary schools place too much attention on formal education. I strongly agree with view, as i believe that children must be given sufficient opportunities to play along with their academic studies.

To begin with, formal education plays a vital role in children's academic skills. Subjects such as mathematics, reading and writing create strong foundation for their future education. However, spending much time on textbooks and examinations can make children feel stressed and reduce their interest in learning. For example, the students who learn in primary school have to complete numerous written exercises daily. Therefore, this may result into the lack of natural curiosity in children and they become tired.

On the other hand, i believe playing is equally important in primary education. Firstly, physical activity helps children to develop coordination and maintain good health. Secondly, playing with their classmate allows children to improve communication and teamwork skills. These abilities cannot be developed always through classroom session. For instance, In Japan children should compulsorily provide sports session, which ensure the children are physically active and giving children opportunities to develop social skills. For that reason, there should be combination of playing with academic learning, results into children's overall development.

In conclusion, although formal education is necessary for developing children's academic ability, I believe that primary schools can place too much emphasis on it. A balanced approach must be there in schools, combining classroom learning with adequate time to play, would be more beneficial for children's overall development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position on the over-emphasis of formal learning and explaining the importance of play. The ideas are relevant and supported by examples, such as the mention of the Japanese education system. However, the development of some points is slightly limited; for instance, the explanation of how formal education leads to a lack of curiosity could be more deeply explored. The position is consistent throughout the essay, and the conclusion effectively synthesizes the main arguments. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting example is fully integrated into the argument to avoid any sense of under-development.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The progression of ideas is easy to follow, moving from the drawbacks of excessive formal learning to the benefits of play. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'On the other hand', and 'For instance' are used effectively to link ideas. However, there are minor issues with referencing and flow, such as the slightly awkward phrasing 'results into children's overall development' at the end of the second body paragraph. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, contributing to the overall clarity of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There is an attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'formal education', 'academic skills', and 'overall development'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice or collocation, such as 'result into' instead of 'result in' and 'provide sports session' instead of 'incorporate sports sessions'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey meaning, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for a higher band score. Expanding the range of synonyms and collocations would improve the quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that persist throughout the text, such as 'I strongly agree with view' (missing article), 'the students who learn in primary school' (vague), and 'there should be combination' (missing article). Additionally, there are punctuation and capitalization errors, such as the lowercase 'i' used for the first-person pronoun. These errors do not impede communication, but they do indicate a lack of consistent control over complex structures. Improving attention to articles, prepositions, and sentence-level accuracy will help elevate the score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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