Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Primary education plays a significant role in defining the career or future of a layman . A group of individual condemns the excessive formal learning going in school. I completely endorse the statement and my inclination will be justified with appropriate reason and pertinent examples in the ensuing paragraphs.

The primary drawback of excessive formal education is that it can restrict the thinking capability of children. To elaborate, students if taught only specific subjects with limited topic can decrease their thinking capacity. Hence they will never explore different skills or knowledge. Consequently, students will not be able to know their potential in other subjects or skills that can really bring success. Another major disadvantage of too much subjective study can cause high tension and challenge mental health. It is ubiquitous that many students are not good in specific subjects such as mathematics or geography, while other find such subject very easy. As a result, in order to compete them students are being pressurized by their parents, which cause ramification such as anxiety, tension and leads to depression.

On the other hand it is very crucial for students to have some physical activity along with the academic studies. Firstly, it can enhance the physical and mental health of students from young age. To illustrate, children involve in different sports activity often seen to be more fit and mentally active compare to children who do not play outdoor games. Moreover, it can represent the nation in global sports events such as Olympic. When students are exposed to different sports and students which are really talented, make their career in same field and compete in such sports events. As a result, they bring prosperity to their nation.

To conclude, as the primary schools mainly focus on formal studies, it become very complex for students to grow in their career as every students born with different talent and skill, moreover, students should be encourage to play outdoor games because it not only built their physical health but also it is good for their mental health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the negative impacts of formal learning are discussed, the link between 'play' and 'academic success' could be more explicitly connected to the classroom environment rather than just global sports. The argument is generally relevant, but some points, such as the mention of the Olympics, are slightly tangential to the primary school context. Overall, the response meets the requirements of the task but would benefit from deeper, more focused analysis of the classroom dynamic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear central theme. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To elaborate,' 'Consequently,' and 'On the other hand,' which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'It is ubiquitous that many students are not good in specific subjects.' Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different arguments. To reach a higher band, the student should aim for more natural, varied linking phrases and ensure that referencing between sentences is consistently precise.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with attempts to use less common items like 'ramification,' 'ubiquitous,' and 'inclination.' However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'defining the career or future of a layman' (layman is not appropriate here) and 'compete them' (should be 'compete with them'). Some phrases are slightly unnatural, such as 'going in school.' While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey meaning, the errors in word choice and collocation prevent it from reaching a higher band. More attention to context-specific collocations would improve the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is a good attempt at complex sentences, but these often contain grammatical errors, such as 'students if taught only specific subjects with limited topic can decrease their thinking capacity' (missing subject/verb agreement and awkward structure). Other errors include 'every students born' (should be 'every student is born') and 'students should be encourage' (should be 'encouraged'). While these errors are frequent, they rarely impede communication. To improve, the student should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive voice constructions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.