Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In the era of modernisation, some of the individuals suggest that primary schools concentrate too much on academic learning , rather then focusing on extra curricular activities. i completely favour that given statement. this essay will discuss why is it important for kids to work on themself as well.
The new age consist of practical skills then just theoretical concepts. children should have some basic other talents then just photographic knowledge. primary schools should uplift the game with adopting new educational policies ,for without inheriting practical skills pupils may lack behind to catch up with modern world; in addition to that primary education also needs to launch various campaigns related to enhancing practical knowledge so learners are able to participate in it and gets ungraded in a different manner
;Moreover students are more fond of getting involved in extra curricular stuff although the text book based knowledge is essential for learners but it cant under take the practical experience. For ex= In a recent survey two learners were examined by the organisation one was equipped with all theory based knowledge and the other not only had that but also knows how to tickle with it in real life and surprisingly the one with both the skills got selected for the job
In conclusion, it is clear that both kind of knowledge is neccssary for students to learn without that the life would be a total hassle and pupils find it defficult to attain thir position in real life
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, expressing a clear position on the focus of primary education and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is limited. The arguments regarding 'practical skills' are somewhat repetitive and lack specific, well-explained examples. The example provided about a job interview is not entirely relevant to the context of primary school children. Furthermore, the response falls short of the 250-word minimum requirement, which negatively impacts the depth of the discussion. To improve, you should expand on your points with more concrete illustrations and ensure you meet the minimum word count to allow for a more thorough exploration of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow between ideas is often mechanical or disjointed. While some cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'In conclusion' are used, they are sometimes placed awkwardly or lack proper punctuation, such as the semicolon before 'Moreover'. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the logical progression of ideas is hindered by the lack of development within paragraphs. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects logically to the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices, such as 'tickle with it' (likely meaning 'tackle') and 'gets ungraded' (likely meaning 'upgraded'). Spelling errors are frequent, including 'neccssary', 'defficult', and 'thir'. These errors occasionally impede the reader's understanding. To reach a higher band, you need to expand your vocabulary beyond basic terms and focus on accurate spelling and appropriate collocations. Using more precise academic terminology would also enhance the quality of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('The new age consist of'), article usage, and sentence structure. Punctuation is inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and incorrect use of semicolons. While there is an attempt to use complex sentences, they are often marred by errors that make the meaning unclear. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring proper subject-verb agreement, and proofreading for punctuation and capitalization errors. Reducing the number of errors is essential for achieving a higher band score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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