Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, focusing too much on formal learning has prompted considerable debate, particularly regarding the importance for children to play as well as learn in the primary school. The question of whether it is important to play as well as learn in the primary school has become the central point of discussion.

Focusing on formal and traditional learning is undoubtedly crucial for children for their growth and development, to upskill themselves, but continuous learning or overemphasizing studies for children is harsh for them which may affect them adversely. Focusing on learning without any break brings boredom which is detrimental for their long term growth. Learning should never be felt like a burden, learning is something which should be enjoyed by children so that it can encourage them to learn. Therefore, I think it is much important for them to play at the same time to nurture their minds so that they can freshen up their mind. Overly focusing on learning and studies makes a child feel like stuck in a shell, conversely focusing on playing or other curricular activities makes one's mind fresh and can contribute to thinking out of the box. Also, productivity decreases because of hyper-focusing on formal learning. In this competitive world, focusing on how technology is evolving it's very important to think creatively, which often formal studies lack. Playing is important so that one can get free from formal learning and stresses and this can keep one healthy and fit for long run. If parents pressure their kids for traditional learning it can create unwillingness and fear in their mind for studies which is absolutely not good for them, so it is also important for parents and the tutors to transform the learnings in a playful format, like creating interactive quizzes with attractive visuals or gaming quizzes for kids to attract them towards studies. Gamify the quizzes often attracts children's mind helping them to focus on studies

Formal learning is essential for children and their progress. However, focusing on playing is also vital. So, if we try to make studies or learnings more interactive and transform that into playful format, this will be beneficial for long run. Achieving symbiotic balance between the two remains the best approach.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. You maintain a clear position throughout, advocating for a balance between the two. The ideas are relevant and generally well-developed, particularly the discussion on how 'gamification' can bridge the gap between formal and informal learning. However, some arguments, such as the claim that 'productivity decreases because of hyper-focusing', could be supported with more specific examples or deeper analysis to reach a higher band. Overall, the response is well-focused and directly answers the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'conversely', 'therefore', and 'in this competitive world' to link ideas. However, the transition between some sentences is slightly mechanical, and the paragraphing could be more balanced; the second body paragraph is quite long compared to the others. Additionally, some referencing is slightly repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'focusing on' at the start of sentences. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'detrimental', 'symbiotic balance', and 'upskill'. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, though some word choices are slightly imprecise or repetitive, such as 'freshen up their mind' or 'stuck in a shell'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the precision and sophisticated collocation required for a higher band. A more varied use of synonyms would help avoid the repetitive phrasing observed in the middle section.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'it is much important' (should be 'very important'), 'learning is something which should be enjoyed' (slightly awkward phrasing), and 'gamify the quizzes often attracts' (subject-verb agreement error). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some run-on sentences that could be improved with better use of commas or semicolons. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score.

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