Band 7.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.5)

In recent years, the emphasis placed on structured academic instruction in early education has sparked considerable debate. I strongly agree that modern primary schools overemphasize formal education, and I believe that integrating play into the classroom is essential for a child’s holistic development.

Over-focusing on traditional academic instruction can be counterproductive for young learners. When children are subjected to continuous rote learning without adequate breaks, studies cease to be engaging and instead become a psychological burden. Prolonged mental exertion in rigid settings often leads to burnout, diminished attention spans, and lower overall academic productivity. Furthermore, excessive emphasis on traditional schooling creates unnecessary stress and anxiety, fostering a fear of education rather than a lifelong passion for it. Because rigid curricula rarely prioritize creative problem-solving, relying solely on formal instruction limits a child's ability to think critically in an increasingly dynamic world.

Consequently, incorporating play alongside formal study is crucial for cognitive, physical, and emotional growth. Play provides a necessary mental reprieve, allowing young students to recharge and maintain high energy levels throughout the school day. Moreover, interactive and recreational activities stimulate imaginative thinking and social collaboration—skills that standard textbooks cannot teach. To achieve this balance, educators should gamify learning by transforming lessons into interactive quizzes, visual storytelling, and educational games. This approach allows children to absorb complex concepts naturally while staying enthusiastic about their education.

In conclusion, while formal education forms the foundation of academic growth, overemphasizing it at a young age harms children's creative and emotional well-being. Schools must strike a balance by embedding playful, interactive elements into the curriculum to ensure effective and enjoyable learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

The response fully addresses both parts of the prompt. You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay. The arguments regarding the negative impacts of over-formalized learning, such as 'burnout' and 'diminished attention spans,' are well-developed and supported with logical reasoning. You also provide a clear explanation of why play is important, citing 'cognitive, physical, and emotional growth.' The ideas are extended effectively, and the response is balanced, addressing both the critique of current systems and the necessity of play. The conclusion provides a concise summary that reinforces your main argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the transition between the critique of formal education and the benefits of play is smooth. You use a variety of cohesive devices effectively, such as 'Furthermore,' 'Consequently,' and 'Moreover,' which help guide the reader through your argument. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The flow is natural, and the relationship between sentences is clear, making the text easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.5

You demonstrate a wide and sophisticated range of vocabulary. Phrases such as 'holistic development,' 'mental reprieve,' 'rote learning,' and 'dynamic world' show a high level of lexical control. The word choices are precise and contribute to the academic tone of the essay. There are no noticeable errors in collocation or spelling, and the vocabulary is used naturally to convey complex ideas. You successfully avoid repetition by using varied synonyms and academic terminology throughout the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 8.0

The essay displays a wide range of grammatical structures with high accuracy. You effectively use complex sentences, such as 'When children are subjected to continuous rote learning without adequate breaks, studies cease to be engaging and instead become a psychological burden.' Punctuation is used correctly to manage sentence length and clarity. The majority of your sentences are error-free, and the control over verb tenses and subject-verb agreement is consistent. There are no significant grammatical slips that impede communication.

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