Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Primary education plays an important role in shaping children's academic future and personal development. While some people believe that primary schools place more importance on formal learning. I completely agree with this view because children also need opportunities to develop social and basic life skills.

There is no doubt that, formal education is very crucial during the early years of schooling. Children must to acquire basic skill abilities like reading, writing and fundamentals of mathematics / science, which will be the important base for their future studies. Structured lessons can teach children discipline and ability to follow the instructions. Without academic instruction, it should get difficult to grasp the knowledge required for their higher secondary education and further undergraduate studies.

However on the other part, too much focus on classroom studies can have several disadvantages. Young children generally learn more effectively when they are actively involved rather than to attend long periods. Some activities like indoor games, group projects, drawing and outdoor exercises can develop creativity and problem solving skills. During these activities, they learn how to co-operate, how to be a better human being and understand the value of life principals. These abilities are also valuable as far as academic knowledge in their later life.

In my opinion, therefore primary schools should follow a neutral approach rather than concentrating on formal instruction. Academic subjects should remain an important part of the study, but they should also get motivated by playing sport games, physical activities and team tasks. This should enable them to become not only academically capable but also more confident and creative.

Overall, I do agree that formal learning may receive more attention in primary education and a wide approach will be more beneficial for children's long term development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position on the balance between formal learning and play. Your ideas are relevant and logically extended, particularly in the second and third paragraphs where you contrast the benefits of structured lessons with the developmental advantages of play. To reach a higher band, ensure your examples are more specific; for instance, instead of mentioning 'indoor games' generally, you could briefly describe how a specific collaborative activity fosters problem-solving. Your position is consistent throughout, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, meeting the requirements for a well-developed response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and you use cohesive devices such as 'However on the other part' and 'In my opinion, therefore' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'However on the other part', which is not standard phrasing. Additionally, the use of referencing could be more precise to improve flow. While the paragraphing is appropriate, increasing the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used naturally would elevate the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'academic future', 'personal development', and 'structured lessons' effectively. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'life principals' (should be 'principles') and 'sport games' (which is slightly redundant). You attempt to use less common vocabulary, which is good, but some phrases feel slightly unnatural. To improve, focus on collocations and ensure that your word choices are precise and contextually appropriate. Expanding your repertoire of academic synonyms will help you achieve a more sophisticated tone.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is a positive step. However, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'Children must to acquire' (should be 'must acquire') and 'rather than to attend' (should be 'rather than attending'). There are also punctuation issues, such as the sentence fragment 'While some people believe that primary schools place more importance on formal learning.' which should be connected to the following sentence. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur with enough frequency to prevent a higher band score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and infinitive structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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