Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some individuals contend that primary schools focus excessively on formal education. I believe that this is true for the majority of the schools. Children should not only learn in the primary school classes but also play because it is essential for their overall development. Balancing learning and playing can allow the children to become healthy successful individuals in the future.

Some critics contend that schools are paying too much attention on curriculum only. This approach can have a negative influence on a child's mental and physical health. Concentrating too much on studies and tests can create a stressful environment, contributing to mental exhaustion and fatigue. For example, annual exam system along with monthly class tests and assignments can be overstimulating for kids. As a result, they tend to come under the constant pressure of proving themselves, undergoing high stress levels.

Cognitive development, especially in primary school children, is crucial. However, it is also important to strike a balance between learning and playing activities. For instance, a study performed in a renowned primary school at the UK highlighted a surge in the overall quiz performance of those students who were involved in physical activities, such as cricket, when compared to a group that focused only on studies. Therefore, physical games such as hockey, tennis, and badminton should be promoted in schools. This also allows students to fully explore their potential and grow interest in a particular game.

In conclusion, I would argue that the primary schools have the main attention towards studies and can neglect the fundamental playing aspect that has the potential to tremendously improve the students performance, allowing them to explore their interests.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed both parts of the prompt: the extent to which primary schools focus on formal learning and the importance of play. Your position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of mental exhaustion and the cognitive benefits of physical activity. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the example of the UK school study is a good attempt at support, but it lacks specific detail to make it fully convincing. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting examples are more thoroughly explained to demonstrate a deeper exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'For example,' 'However,' and 'Therefore' to link your ideas. While the progression is generally clear, some transitions feel slightly mechanical. For instance, the jump between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother to better connect the negative impacts of formal learning with the positive solutions of play. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and each paragraph has a central theme, which helps the reader follow your argument without difficulty.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'excessively,' 'overstimulating,' and 'fundamental.' There are some minor collocation issues, such as 'paying too much attention on' (should be 'to') and 'grow interest' (should be 'develop an interest'). While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, the precision is occasionally lacking. To improve, focus on using collocations more naturally and expanding your repertoire of academic phrases to express complex ideas with greater nuance and accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'the primary schools have the main attention towards studies' (awkward phrasing) and 'a renowned primary school at the UK' (should be 'in'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. You have good control over basic sentence structures, but your complex sentences occasionally contain minor errors in preposition use or article placement. Increasing your focus on proofreading for these small slips would significantly enhance your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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