Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Most people argue that elementary schools focus too much on formal learning.

I partly agree that schools focus too much is not children wants study at the same time games and other activities and also formal learning too important.

One major reason why i partly argued that primary schools will be focus on formal learning like reading, speaking , writing and listening are important to children in future because if communication is better u would get jobs and good presentation at schools or colleges. For example,

presentation at schools or meetings, job or placements , and daily communication to others. As a result formal learning is important to focus on schools its good for future and good communicating skills.

Another important is that schools focus too much on studies and not focus in playing games and others . if schools also focus some time to playing games or doing exercises for children is better if schools add extra time on playing activities is better for children fitness and health . for instance, chess game is improve brain memory, running is improve physical fitness , also those students under stress meditation is relief for them and other activities also improve student power, fitness and relief. Consequently, give sometime or focus on students playing activities is better for students health.

In conclusion, i believe that formal learning is important and also spend some time focus on children playing activities , in my opinion too much on formal learning is not bad but also some time on sports and exercises , try and give sometime for other activities is better for students.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, acknowledging the debate on formal learning and discussing the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. While you provide examples like chess and running, the explanation of why these are important for primary school children lacks depth. The position is clear, but the expression of this position is hindered by grammatical inaccuracies, making the argument feel slightly disjointed. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your supporting arguments are fully expanded with more sophisticated reasoning rather than just listing activities.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, the transition 'Another important is that' is grammatically incorrect and awkward. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences is frequently interrupted by errors in word order and sentence structure. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in contrast') more naturally and ensure that each sentence logically follows the previous one without relying on repetitive phrasing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The range of vocabulary is limited and often repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'important', 'focus', and 'better'. There are instances of incorrect word choice, such as 'partly argued' instead of 'partly agree' and 'student power' which is not a standard collocation. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of precision and the reliance on basic vocabulary prevent a higher score. You should aim to incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to education and child development, and work on using synonyms to avoid repeating the same words throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'schools will be focus'), missing articles, and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'is not children wants study'). Complex sentence structures are attempted but are often faulty, leading to confusion. The punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence patterns, ensuring correct verb tenses, and proofreading for common errors like missing 'to' or incorrect pluralisation. A more controlled use of simple sentences is preferable to frequent, error-prone complex ones.

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