Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In the modern era, the school represents a primary platform of education for the young minds. Some people argue that pure memorisation method of learning in the primary school is unnecessarily extreme. In my opinion, I agree on the above fact because the school purely focuses on the formal learning which if not reevaluated, can negatively affect the students up to some extent.

The traditional method of schooling involves rot memorisation and an academic excellence being an essential factors to evaluate the ability and performance of the students. As a result, students are more likely to experience stress learning rather than practical learning in their early age. Consequently, in the long-term, unrecognised stress can adversely affect their physical and mental state. Additionally, an excessive academic focus eventually compromise their childhood which should ideally have a decent time to play and study for their overall well-being.

Furthermore, a balanced daily routine of children can bring a positive impact on overall development of practical and cognitive skills. A quick playing break in the school can improve their mood and concentration to an immense level. As a result, their minds can easily remember new concepts or topics. Moreover, the syllabus should also focus on practical thinking, cognitive development and stress management in playful ways which can foster the young mind to get ready for the real world.

In conclusion, I agree on the fact that primary schools solely focus on formal learning which eventually compromise an overall idea of schooling. Henceforth, inculcating various practical ways of learning can help children develop their mind i for the life-long learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. The ideas are relevant and generally well-developed, particularly the discussion on the negative impacts of stress and the benefits of play for cognitive development. However, some arguments could be further extended with more specific examples or evidence to reach a higher band. The conclusion effectively summarises the main points, though it introduces a slight repetition of the introduction's sentiment. Overall, the task is fully addressed with a consistent viewpoint.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organised with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'consequently', 'furthermore', and 'as a result' are used to link sentences and paragraphs, although some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The progression of ideas is clear, moving from the problem of over-formalisation to the benefits of play. Referencing is generally clear, though there are minor instances where the flow could be smoother to achieve a more natural, sophisticated cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is sufficient to convey ideas with some precision. There is an attempt to use less common items such as 'inculcating', 'cognitive development', and 'adversely affect'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'rot memorisation' (should be 'rote') and 'stress learning' (which is not a standard collocation). While the range is adequate for the task, the occasional errors in word choice prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. The vocabulary is generally appropriate for an academic context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several error-free sentences, but errors in grammar and punctuation persist. For example, 'an academic excellence being an essential factors' contains subject-verb agreement and article errors. Additionally, 'up to some extent' is an awkward phrasing. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. A greater variety of complex structures with more consistent accuracy would be required for a higher band.

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