Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, primary schools devote their attention to academic learning. As a result, some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. However, I believe that although institutional education is of paramount importance, physical games play an essential role in a student's life because they may keep students healthy. Another significant factor is that sports may improve a student's mental health and communication skills.

Sports play a crucial part in improving student's physical health. This is because pupils have to run while playing, which may help them to increase their stamina and may also help them in physical fitness. Furthermore, learners may feel fresh while playing different games that may be either e-games or physical games, which help them to perform better in academics. A prime example is that a student who's playing different games may perform better in academics compared with others who are just considering formal learning as a primary goal.

Moreover, sports, which can improve a student's mental health, can also help in improving communication skills. This is because a sportsman has to take different decisions across different scenarios which can help them in thinking from different perspective. Unlike the schools that mostly concentrate on teaching new skills to students, sports may facilitate students in improving their communication skills. This is due to the fact that a player communicates with other sportspersons on ground who belong to different backgrounds. For instance, a student having good communication skills with academic education may have more employment opportunities.

In conclusion, although formal earning is essential for every student, I believe that playing plays a crucial part along with education. Playing continue to provide many benefits such as good health, improving mental health and communication skills, which help students performing better in academics.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive. For instance, the argument that play improves academic performance is mentioned in both the second and third paragraphs without significant new depth. While the ideas are relevant, they could be more fully extended with more specific examples beyond general statements about 'stamina' or 'decision-making'. To reach a higher band, ensure each paragraph introduces a distinct, well-supported point rather than circling back to the same benefits.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the physical and mental benefits of play. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', and 'This is due to the fact that' are used to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as the vague use of 'This' at the start of sentences. Overall, the progression of ideas is coherent, and the reader can easily follow the writer's line of reasoning throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate and allows the writer to convey their meaning clearly. There is an attempt to use less common items like 'paramount importance' and 'facilitate'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'playing continue to provide' (should be 'playing continues') and 'sportspersons on ground' (should be 'on the ground'). The range is sufficient for the task, but more precise academic vocabulary would elevate the response. The repetition of 'academics' and 'formal learning' suggests a need for a broader range of synonyms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('playing continue', 'a student who's playing'), missing articles ('on ground'), and awkward phrasing ('a student having good communication skills with academic education'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Increasing the variety of error-free complex structures and proofreading for basic grammatical agreement would significantly improve the score.

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