Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's world few people consider that primary schools are focusing too much on formal learning rather than informal learning.

I firstly believe that primary schools are very important for children below 6 years because that is the age where children get to learn new things in there childhood which help them in their future life. That is the age were the children’s mind remembers every thing which they have learnt. For example, when people learn something at certain age they easily forget it after few months or years. Likewise, when children learn alphabets in the age of 3 or 4, people still remember them in the sequential order even though he learnt it many years ago. So, that is the learning memory power in the earliest childhood.

On the other hand, some of the people argue that the schools should also consider informal learning because informal learning contains a bit of physical fitness which keeps are body fit and healthy. The parents or the guardian of the child wants his/her's mental and as well as physical health to be strong and also to gain knowledge about the world. So, most of the schools in our country have both formal and informal learnings. As i said before, children should have both learnings and play in there initial primary school days.

In conclusion, although people argue that they primary schools only focus on formal learning. I partially support the people who are against formal learning because children should not only gain knowledge by reading books or newspaper but they should also learn things by participating in physical games which game their brain sharp and active.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, acknowledging the debate on formal learning and discussing the importance of play. However, the development is somewhat superficial. The argument regarding memory in early childhood is a bit tangential to the core issue of 'formal vs. informal' balance. The position is clear, but the supporting ideas lack depth and specific examples. For instance, the mention of 'physical fitness' is a good point, but it is not expanded upon to explain how it specifically benefits the classroom environment. To improve, ensure that each paragraph directly supports the main argument with more detailed reasoning and clearer links to the prompt's specific questions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'In today's world', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where referencing is unclear, such as 'that is the learning memory power' or 'as I said before'. The use of cohesive devices is sometimes repetitive or slightly unnatural, which affects the overall progression of ideas. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to their antecedents would enhance the coherence of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'game their brain sharp' instead of 'keep their brain sharp' and 'learnings' used as a countable noun, which is incorrect. The range is somewhat limited, relying on basic vocabulary to express ideas. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding the misuse of word forms. Expanding your repertoire of academic vocabulary would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('the parents... wants'), incorrect preposition usage ('in the age of'), and spelling/punctuation errors ('there' instead of 'their', 'his/her's'). While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors prevent the text from achieving a higher score. Focusing on basic sentence construction, proofreading for common errors like homophones (there/their), and ensuring consistent verb forms will help improve the accuracy of your writing significantly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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