Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's world, few people believe that primary schools focus too much on formal learning rather than informal learning.

I firmly believe that primary schools are very important for children under 6 years of age because this is the stage when they learn new things in childhood that help them in later life. It is also the age when children’s minds remember everything they have learned. For example, when people learn something at a certain age, they often forget it after a few months or years. Likewise, when children learn the alphabet at the age of 3 or 4, they can still remember it in the sequential order even many years later. This shows the strong memory power of early childhood. So, most schools in our country provide both formal and informal learning. As I said before, children should have both learning and play during their early primary school days.

On the other hand, some people argue that schools should also consider informal learning because it includes physical activity, which keeps our bodies fit and healthy. Parents or guardians want their children to have strong mental and physical health, as well as knowledge about the world. So, most schools in our country provide both formal and informal learning. As I said before, children should have both learning and play during their early primary school days.

In conclusion, although some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, I partly agree with them. However, in my opinion children should not only gain knowledge by reading books or newspapers, but they should also learn through physical games, which keep their brains sharp and active.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, acknowledging the debate on formal learning and discussing the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive. For instance, the point about schools providing both formal and informal learning is stated almost identically in both the second and third paragraphs. While you clearly state your position, the arguments lack depth and specific examples beyond general statements about memory and physical health. To reach a higher band, you should expand on how play specifically enhances cognitive or social development rather than repeating the same general observations.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by repetition and a lack of varied cohesive devices. You use 'As I said before' twice, which is a mechanical way to link ideas and suggests a lack of vocabulary to transition smoothly between points. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the logical flow between the introduction and the body paragraphs could be improved by using more sophisticated linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in contrast') to connect your arguments more effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. Phrases like 'learn new things', 'remember everything', and 'keep our bodies fit' are functional but lack the precision expected at higher levels. There is little attempt to use less common lexical items or idiomatic language. To improve, focus on using more academic collocations and precise terminology related to education and child development. For example, instead of 'remember everything', you could use 'retain information' or 'cognitive development'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical issues, such as the opening sentence: 'few people believe that primary schools focus too much on formal learning', which contradicts the premise of the prompt. Additionally, there are minor errors in article usage and sentence construction. While these errors do not impede communication, the range of complex structures is limited. Increasing the variety of subordinate clauses and ensuring subject-verb agreement will help improve the accuracy and complexity of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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