Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

In contemporary education, there is a growing debate regarding the curriculum design for early childhood development. It is often argued that primary schools place an excessive amount of emphasis on structured, academic education. I completely agree with the view that focusing on traditional learning styles can hinder natural curiosity, and I firmly believe that incorporating play into the classroom is vital for a child's holistic development.

The current prometric education system frequently prioritizes academic metrics and standard testing over well-rounded growth. From a very young age, children are subjected to rigorous schedules, repetitive worksheets, and rote memorization to excel in subjects like mathematics and literacy. While foundational skills are undoubtedly important, this hyperfocus on formal instructions leaves little room for formal instruction.Additionally, active physical play and arts during this stage stimulate brain growth. These activities help children process complex emotions, build motor skills, and discover unique personal talents early on.

Youth is the most critical period for a student's holistic development, shaping their cognitive, social, and emotional foundations. During these early years, brains are highly adaptable, making it the perfect time to build core skills like critical thinking, creativity, and problem-solving. Beyond academics, school environments help students learn emotional regulation, empathy, and teamwork through peer interactions. Encouraging healthy habits, curiosity, and resilience at a young age instills a lifelong love for learning. When educators and parents collaborate to provide a supportive, stimulating environment, they empower young students to discover their identity and build the confidence needed for future success. The better is to let me have freedom.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed both parts of the prompt: your position on formal learning is clear, and you have provided arguments for the importance of play. The ideas are relevant and generally well-developed. However, the final sentence, 'The better is to let me have freedom,' is abrupt, informal, and lacks a clear connection to the academic tone of the essay, which slightly weakens the conclusion. To reach a higher band, ensure that all arguments are fully integrated into the formal structure of the essay without shifting to a personal, informal perspective at the end.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. You use paragraphing effectively to separate the critique of the current system from the benefits of play. Cohesive devices such as 'While,' 'Additionally,' and 'Beyond academics' are used appropriately to link sentences. However, there is a minor error in the second paragraph where you repeat 'formal instruction' twice in the same sentence, which disrupts the flow. Overall, the structure is clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary, using terms like 'holistic development,' 'rigorous schedules,' and 'emotional regulation' effectively. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, though 'prometric' appears to be a misuse or a typo for 'prescriptive' or 'programmatic.' While there are occasional minor slips, the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your ideas with precision and flexibility throughout the majority of the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'While foundational skills are undoubtedly important, this hyperfocus on formal instructions leaves little room for formal instruction.' Your control of grammar is generally good, and errors are infrequent. However, the final sentence is grammatically awkward and informal. Most of your sentences are error-free, and your punctuation is generally accurate, which supports clear communication of your ideas.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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