Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is one of the common arguments in the contemporary era that primary schools pay excessive attention to formal learning, thus losing the plot to incorporate the element of sport as a learning enhancement in schools. Although, formal learning is highly important for the intellectual growth of a child, but any educational setup without opportunity for sports is but a facade in the name of education. Sports is considered one of the main factors behind the overall well-being and capacity building, developing teamwork ability and confidence building among young learners.

To begin with, the importance of sports in education is inevitable and indespensable. Sports is believed to be one of the main driving forces behind the necessary activity needed among kids in the early teenage. This activity further enhances his ability to be sharp both in physical and mental capacities, thus corresponding with a holistic developement and well-being of a child.

Furthermore, sports can have a significant impact in terms of developing team work abilities in young learners. We often notice that young learners are too good for themselves, too bad to be integrated in a team as they lack the necessary ability to merge in and adapt. For instance, my younger brother, who is a great student in math, would often find it difficult to obtain results in collaboration with others. His most enormous issue was engaging with others for a definite goal. I made him become part of the school's soccer team wherein he learned team-work and collaboration. Now he has become a very strong team-member showing great promise for the future as a corporate employee.

Lastly, the importance of sports in building confidence among children becomes simply undeniable when we realize that more than 50% children in schools lack the necessary confidence to share insights. Through sports, these children become able to reach a specific goal point through hardwork, which enables him to acquire an amount of confidence necessary to be brave enough to answer a random question or share valuable insights.

Conclusively, although, primary schools focus alot on formal learning but to achieve greater results in terms of the overall development of a child, sports becomes the need of the time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed both parts of the prompt: your stance on the focus of primary schools is clear, and you have provided reasons for the importance of play. The ideas are relevant and generally well-supported, particularly the example of your brother. However, the response could be improved by more explicitly linking the 'formal learning' aspect to the 'play' aspect in a more balanced way. While you argue for the necessity of sports, the essay could benefit from a more nuanced discussion on how these two elements can coexist within a school curriculum to fully satisfy the 'to what extent' part of the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Furthermore,' and 'Lastly' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are occasional issues with referencing, such as the inconsistent use of pronouns (e.g., switching between 'a child' and 'his'). Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the progression of ideas is generally clear, though the connection between the introduction and the first body paragraph could be smoother.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some precision. Phrases like 'holistic development,' 'indispensable,' and 'corporate employee' show a good grasp of academic language. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'losing the plot' (which is an idiom that does not fit the formal tone) and 'too good for themselves' (which is not a standard collocation). Spelling errors like 'indespensable' and 'developement' also occur, though they do not impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are several grammatical slips, particularly with subject-verb agreement and article usage (e.g., 'Sports is considered' vs 'Sports are considered,' 'more than 50% children' should be 'more than 50% of children'). Additionally, the use of 'Although' at the start of a sentence followed by 'but' is a common error; you should use one or the other, not both. Despite these errors, the meaning remains clear throughout the essay.

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