Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning thats is true.
From my perspective primary schoools plays an important role to develop the children confidence to achieve their goals. Formal learning plays an important role in children's life to built strong chracter to learn in any phase of life to do something i am totally agree with that statment because formal learning proper enhance the confidence level of children to mark their achievements.
Its plays a significant role in children life to learn in the primary school because in the most of the part when a children step in to the school primary school teaches the basic thing and the ability of picking is high for that children they can easily beat all the class room with their basic preparation in primary school.
For example my younger brother is in school right now but we develop their skills in primary school like he knows everything before entering the school most of the common thing primary school teachs the behaviour, confidence and how to talk with others and respect element for every age people. From that support the confidence of student is high when they know everything and they lead the class everytime and study hard for achievements of goals
Conclusion is that primary school learning is helpful for the children for their basic and environmental growth it helps to achieve the confidence level to win in the classroom. Formal learning play an important role in childs life
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt but lacks depth and clarity. While you state your agreement with formal learning, the second part of the prompt regarding the importance of play is largely ignored or conflated with general 'basic' learning. The ideas are repetitive, focusing on 'confidence' and 'goals' without exploring the balance between formal instruction and play. To improve, ensure you explicitly answer both parts of the question in separate, well-developed paragraphs. The arguments provided are somewhat circular and lack specific, relevant examples that directly address the pedagogical value of play versus formal schooling.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a clear structure. There is no introduction or conclusion that effectively frames the argument, and the paragraphing is non-existent. The flow of ideas is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow your logic. You rely on basic transitions like 'For example' and 'Conclusion is that', but the internal cohesion within paragraphs is weak. To reach a higher band, you must use clear paragraph breaks for each main idea and employ a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in contrast') to link your sentences and arguments more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'important', 'good', and 'things'. There are also issues with word forms and collocations, such as 'proper enhance' (should be 'properly enhances') and 'respect element' (which is unnatural). To improve, you should aim to use more precise academic vocabulary and ensure that words are used in their correct grammatical form. Avoid repeating the same phrases throughout the essay; instead, try to use synonyms to express your ideas more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'schoools plays', 'primary school teachs'), missing articles, and incorrect sentence structure (e.g., 'thats is true', 'i am totally agree'). The range of structures is limited to simple sentences, with very few attempts at complex grammatical forms. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Proofreading for these fundamental errors will significantly improve the clarity of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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