Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Primary schools are the backbone of society. some people say that primary school mainly focus on formal learning while other think that activities are more important in primary schools.

on the one hand, people argue that primary schools have too much focus on formal learning. Children are the only creatures who learn through activities more instead of formal learning. There are some primary schools who have main focus on formal education and some who have on informal education mean play as well as learn. when we compare both of these schools, the children who are studying in formal education are less active and they have low enthusiasm with respect to those who are studying in informal education they are more active. it is better to have number of activities in their classroom.

furthermore, formal education is also good but not for children. it is hard for parents also to let them go in schools. Due to formal learning there is also a homework which is quite hard for both students as well as for parents. one main thing that affects most is too break their interest toward studies. schools should organize their curricaulam instead of making them bored. this is their first step to enter in school so teachers should organize syllabus that is mix of formal and informal learning.

in conclusion, children always wants to play. in my opinion primary schools should have main focus on learning with play mean through activities. it is good for their mental heath and learning. Good schools always have separate activities rooms for children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, expressing a clear opinion that primary schools should balance formal learning with play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that formal education makes children 'less active' and 'bored', these points are not fully extended with specific examples or deeper analysis. The argument remains somewhat repetitive, focusing on the same general points about enthusiasm and mental health without providing concrete evidence or a more sophisticated exploration of why play is pedagogically important. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more detailed explanations and perhaps a specific example of how play-based learning benefits cognitive or social development.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite mechanical and sometimes inaccurate. For instance, the transition 'on the one hand' is used, but there is no corresponding 'on the other hand' to balance the argument. Additionally, some sentences are linked awkwardly, such as 'formal education is also good but not for children', which lacks a clear logical connection to the preceding paragraph. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the lack of sophisticated linking words and occasional issues with referencing (e.g., 'they' referring back to unclear antecedents) limit the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks range and precision. You rely on basic terms like 'good', 'hard', and 'main focus' repeatedly. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'creatures' to refer to children, which is unnatural in this context, and 'mental heath' (spelling error). While the meaning is generally conveyed, there is little attempt to use less common or academic vocabulary. To improve, focus on using more precise synonyms and academic collocations related to education, such as 'pedagogical approach', 'holistic development', or 'academic rigor'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'children always wants'), missing articles (e.g., 'have number of activities'), and incorrect word order or phrasing (e.g., 'too break their interest'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some sentences starting with lowercase letters. While the errors do not completely prevent understanding, they are frequent enough to suggest a lack of control over complex structures. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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