Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

As far as this topic is concerned, I would like to say some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning ,.which has always been debatable and has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial while others reject this notion. The substantial influence of this trend has sparked the controversy over the potential impact in the recent years. From my perspective, the former proposition appears to be more rational. This essay will further elaborate my views for favoring the positive or negative impact of this trend and thus will lead to a logical conclusion.

Analyzing the statement further, the primary reason behind this normal learning is important for children because it helps them develop basic academic skills. Subjects such as reading, writing, mathematics, and science provide a strong foundation for their future education.. Categorically discussing, it cannot be ignored that the main reason behind this is that especially in our country, it has far-reaching consequences.Playing team games can teach children how to cooperate with others and follow rules. These skills are also important for their future lives.

Moving further, it is pertinent to mention that it is the basic duty of the government to provide a safe and stable society for the betterment of the public. It is imperative for the authorities concerned to look into the factor behind this issue and take a drastic action against the concerned persons.

To encapsulate, I would like to appeal to the learned figures to come forward, focus their gaze at this issue and launch a vigorous campaign to reform it across the society.

would like to appeal to the learned figures to come forward, focus their gaze at this issue and launch a vigorous campaign to reform it across the society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response fails to fully address the prompt. While it acknowledges the debate regarding formal learning, the development of ideas is weak and often irrelevant. The essay mentions the importance of academic skills but fails to provide a clear, sustained argument regarding the 'extent' of agreement. Furthermore, the second half of the essay shifts focus to government responsibility and 'drastic action' against individuals, which is entirely off-topic and does not address the importance of play in the classroom. The position is unclear, and the ideas are not sufficiently extended or supported with relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a logical progression of ideas. While there are some cohesive devices used, such as 'Moving further' and 'To encapsulate', they are used mechanically and do not effectively link the disparate ideas. The paragraphing is problematic, as the final paragraph is repetitive and disconnected from the previous arguments. The transition between the discussion of academic skills and the sudden introduction of government intervention is jarring, making the overall structure difficult to follow. The repetition of the final sentence at the end of the text further highlights a lack of coherent planning.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive and occasionally imprecise. Phrases like 'learned figures' and 'focus their gaze' are unnatural in this context and do not fit the academic tone required for an IELTS essay. While the student attempts to use some academic-sounding language, such as 'proposition' and 'imperative', the word choice often feels forced or misused. There is a limited range of vocabulary, and the essay relies on generic phrasing rather than specific, topic-related terminology that would demonstrate a higher level of lexical control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'I would like to say some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning ,.which' contains punctuation errors and awkward phrasing. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and sentence fragments. While the meaning is generally discernible, the high frequency of errors in basic sentence construction and punctuation prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. The control over complex structures is inconsistent.

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