Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that primary schools prioritize academic subjects. This essay totally agrees with this view because this is the best time for students to develop their cognitive thinking. Although allowing children to play in the classroom is crucial, this will makes them feel tired.

Schools should focus on formal learning at primary level because this is the ideal time to develop their cognitive ability. At this level, students are in their learning phase, whatever they are taught can easily be understood by them. After that, they have plenty of time to practice and develop a deeper understanding of arduous concepts, which then help learners build a strong foundation for higher studies. For instance, focusing on mathematics and science subjects allow learners to understand basic concepts, which then give plenty of time to develop a good command of these subjects and make it easier to comprehend and analyze convoluted concepts in the future.

Children should not be allowed to play in the classrooms because they will become tired after playing games. Games such as board games and sports require full mental and physical involvement. Therefore, when children are engaged in these activities, they will become exhausted, making it difficult to focus on studies. This then affects their overall academic performance in the class. One clear example is that in Pakistan, primary schools do not enable students to spend time playing, but they focus on their academic subjects, which then make them competitive for the well-known institutions.

In conclusion, some people believe that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I am of this opinion because it is the best time to develop their understanding of difficult subjects. Although allowing children to play in classrooms is essential to some extent, this will make children feel exhausted.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, taking a clear position that primary schools should focus on formal learning. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and relies on a questionable premise—that physical activity inherently causes exhaustion and hinders academic performance. While the example of Pakistan is relevant, the argument lacks nuance regarding the benefits of play for cognitive development, which is a key aspect of the prompt. The position is consistent, but the reasoning is slightly one-sided, which prevents it from reaching a higher band. To improve, consider exploring how play can actually enhance focus or social skills, providing a more balanced and sophisticated argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central topic, and the progression of ideas is generally easy to follow. Cohesive devices such as 'For instance,' 'Therefore,' and 'In conclusion' are used to link sentences and ideas. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally repetitive. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the overall structure supports the argument well. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that the relationship between sentences is more fluid and less reliant on simple connectors.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, such as 'cognitive thinking,' 'arduous,' and 'convoluted.' However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'make it easier to comprehend and analyze convoluted concepts' or 'make them competitive for the well-known institutions.' While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise usage. Expanding the range of academic collocations and refining word choices would help elevate the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'this will makes them feel tired' (subject-verb agreement) and 'whatever they are taught can easily be understood by them' (clunky passive construction). Additionally, there are minor punctuation and phrasing issues throughout. While the meaning is always clear and the errors do not significantly impede communication, the frequency of these slips prevents the essay from reaching the 7.0 band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and refining complex sentence structures will lead to better accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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