Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Education plays a pivotal role in shaping not only students' academic performance but also their social development. People argue that major focus of primary schools is on formal learning. I agree to this view point that in many countries majority of the schools pay more attention to formal learning.

Most of the schools specially in developing countries they only focus on the course materials and do not pay much attention to the other activities as a result it hinders the creative abilities of children's. Too much formal learning put pressure students. primary school students are in the stage of learning how to concentrate. Spending hours on studies and writing and solving exercises will make them board and less interested in learning.Formal learning provides children with essential basic skills. Subjects such as mathematics, reading and writing form the foundation for their future education. If children do not receive proper instruction during their early school years, they may struggle with more advanced subjects later.

It is very important to engage students with other sports activity together with studies. Children's need opportunity to develop communication and social skills and only learning in the class rooms will not provide these skills. For example while playing together they will learn how to share, cooperate and solve a conflict with communication. A balance between formal learning and sports would be best approach. Schools should not completely avoid formal learning and focus only on play.

In conclusion, Most of the schools only focus on formal learning and avoid sports and other activities. So they should work on balanced approach that combine both leaning and sports so that students can get practical skills together with learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have addressed both parts of the prompt: the extent of your agreement regarding the focus on formal learning and the importance of play. Your position is clear from the introduction. However, the development of your ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention that formal learning causes pressure, you could have provided a more specific example of how this manifests in a classroom setting. The conclusion is a bit repetitive, restating the main points without adding a final synthesis. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph contains a fully developed argument supported by a concrete example or a deeper explanation of the consequences.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'For example' and 'In conclusion', to link your thoughts. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive. Additionally, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother. The referencing is generally clear, but there are instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'Most of the schools specially in developing countries they only focus'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences will enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'pivotal role', 'creative abilities', and 'essential basic skills'. However, there are some errors in word choice and collocation that occasionally hinder precision, such as 'make them board' (bored) and 'best approach' (the best approach). You also tend to repeat certain words like 'learning' and 'focus' frequently. To improve, try to incorporate more precise synonyms and collocations, and pay closer attention to word forms to avoid minor slips that detract from the professional tone of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('Most of the schools... they only focus'), incorrect pluralization ('Children's need'), and missing articles ('a balanced approach'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they are frequent enough to impact the overall fluency. To reach a higher band, focus on proofreading for basic errors like subject-verb agreement and article usage, and try to incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence structures with greater accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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