Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that primary schools emphasis strictly on formal learning for children. However, It is my contention that only academic knowledge can hinder developmental opportunities for children. Children should also be provided with a chance for playful and engaging activities to promote positive and healthy learning.

At primary stages of school, the foundations of a student are developed related to different subjects such as mathematics, science, or literature. Although focus on these areas aim to develop academic knowledge but it also leads to stressful environment as there is no room for other activities that children find interesting except for learning. Such formal learning tends to lean towards rot learning and children often find themselves in burn out situations. Moreover, a stress on formal learning affects the personal development of children and they lose their ability to be engaging and exploring.

Hence, it is pivotal for children to not only acquire knowledge but also get involved in playful activities in the classroom. For instance, a science concept can be demonstrated by using a 3-D model or colorful diagrams that not only attracts the attention of the students but also creates an interest towards learning. Furthermore, such engaging activities enhance soft skills in a child that formal textbooks cannot teach as effectively. When children play, they learn how to problem-solve, negotiate and think creatively. Ultimately, by making the classroom a place of enjoyment rather than a place of silent study, schools can foster a lifelong love of learning.

In conclusion, I agree that formal learning has become too focused in primary schools. Such dry and pressurized system can overshadow a child's social and cognitive growth. It is crucial to introduce playful activities into the daily routine, as it is fundamental for maintaining a positive thinking and enthusiasm for school.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt clearly. You have taken a firm position that primary schools focus too much on formal learning and have provided a logical argument for the importance of play. The ideas are relevant and generally well-developed, particularly the explanation of how play fosters soft skills like problem-solving. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting examples are slightly more detailed; for instance, you could elaborate on a specific type of 'playful activity' beyond just 3-D models to further strengthen the argument. Overall, the task is fully addressed with a consistent position maintained throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Hence', and 'Furthermore' to transition between ideas. However, some of these transitions feel slightly mechanical. Additionally, there are minor issues with referencing and flow; for example, the phrase 'such formal learning' in the second paragraph is clear, but the connection between sentences could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct points, which helps the reader follow your argument easily. Improving the variety of linking words would elevate the score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some precision. Phrases like 'developmental opportunities', 'pivotal', and 'lifelong love of learning' are used effectively. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'emphasis' used as a verb instead of 'emphasize' and 'rot learning' instead of the correct term 'rote learning'. While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more careful attention to word forms and collocations. Expanding your range to include more sophisticated academic synonyms would help you reach a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this level. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'It is my contention that only academic knowledge can hinder...' (which contradicts your argument), 'focus on these areas aim' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'a stress on formal learning' (article usage). While these errors are noticeable, they rarely impede the reader's understanding. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences will help you achieve a higher score in this criterion.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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