Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some people are of view that primary schools place greater emphasis on formal education than on physical health. Although devoting proper time to study is crucial, I believe that physical activity should be given equal importance, as they promote physical health, enhance mental well-being and help children develop vital social skills.

Undoubtedtly, primary education plays a vital role in building strong foundation of students that is crucial for their higher education. At this state, students develop their interest in different fields and their thinking capabilities grow. Similarly, the concepts developed in primary education are considered as building block of their foundation. Apart from this, too much strict and rigid study curriculum and time table may affect student's mental and physical health. Consequently, students may loss their interest in study and It became a burden to them. It could result in frustration and could have a long term negative impact on their mental and physical health. Students may look tired and they might not be able to concentrate on anything.

Moreover, sometimes when students pay less attention to study due to the fact that they have lost their interest in study or they could not focus, they are often punished physically or verbally, leaving a long term pshychological imapct. Therefore, a balance between study and physical activity is very important for the proper and stable physical and mental growth of a child. Teachers should try to use different activities that teaches students academic concepts using small physical activities. For example to demonstrate the concept of force or collision, tecaher can use simple outdoor games to make them visualize these concepts in real world. In this way student will grasp the concept with visual guidance building a strong concept.

In conclusion, although formal learning in primary schools server as the cornerblock in a student's academic and professional career but without physical activities a student may fail to perform well in academia and real life leaving a long term term negative impact on their whole life. So it is crucial for children to play as well as learn in primary school classroom.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed both parts of the prompt: the extent of your agreement and the importance of play in the classroom. Your position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. The ideas are relevant, particularly the suggestion of integrating physical activity into academic learning. However, some points could be more fully developed. For instance, while you mention that rigid curricula lead to frustration, you could provide a more specific example of how this manifests in a primary school setting to strengthen your argument. Overall, the response is well-focused and meets the requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Consequently', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, there are instances where the flow is slightly mechanical, and some transitions could be smoother. For example, the shift between the importance of primary education and the negative impact of rigid study could be better linked. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the central ideas within each paragraph are generally well-sequenced, contributing to a clear progression of thought throughout the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some precision. Phrases like 'vital role', 'thinking capabilities', and 'academic concepts' are used appropriately. There are some spelling errors, such as 'pshychological', 'imapct', and 'tecaher', which are minor but noticeable. Additionally, some word choices are slightly repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'study' and 'physical'. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms and ensure that your spelling is consistent, as these minor slips prevent the vocabulary from being considered fully flexible and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'Some people are of view' (should be 'of the view'), 'students may loss their interest' (should be 'lose'), and 'It became a burden' (should be 'it becomes'). While these errors are frequent, they do not impede communication. Your control of punctuation is generally good, but there are occasional slips in subject-verb agreement and article usage. Increasing the variety of complex structures while reducing these minor errors would help improve your score in this criterion.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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