Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some people are of the view that primary schools place greater emphasis on formal education than on physical health. Although devoting proper time to study is crucial, I believe that physical activity should be given equal importance, it promotes physical health, enhance mental well-being and help children develop vital social skills.

Undoubtedtly, primary education plays a vital role in a building strong foundation of students that is crucial for their higher education. At this stage, students develop their interest in different fields and their thinking capabilities grow. Similarly, the concepts developed in primary education are considered as the building blocks of their foundation. Apart from this, an overly strict and rigid study curriculum and timetable may affect students' mental and physical health. Consequently, students may lose their interest in study and It becomes a burden to them. It could result in frustration and could have a long term negative impact on their mental and physical health. Students may look tired and they might not be able to concentrate on anything.

Moreover, sometimes when students pay less attention to study due to the fact that they have lost their interest in study or they could not focus, they are often punished physically or verbally, leaving a long term psychological impact. Therefore, a balance between study and physical activity is very important for the proper and stable physical and mental growth of a child. Teachers should try to use different activities that teach students academic concepts using small physical activities. For example to demonstrate the concept of force or collision, tecahers can use simple outdoor games to make them visualize these concepts in real world. In this way student will grasp the concept with visual guidance building a strong concept.

In conclusion, although formal learning in primary schools servers as the cornerstone in a student's academic and professional career but without physical activities a student may fail to perform well in academia and real life leaving a long term negative impact on their whole life. So it is crucial for children to play as well as learn in primary school classroom.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding the focus on formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout, and the arguments are relevant. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the negative impacts of rigid curricula are discussed, the second part of the prompt—the importance of play—could have been explored with more depth beyond just physical health. The example of using outdoor games to teach physics is a strong, specific contribution that helps support the argument well. Overall, the response is well-focused and meets the requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Consequently', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader through the argument. However, there are instances where the flow is slightly mechanical, and some transitions could be more sophisticated. Referencing is generally clear, though occasional minor slips in sentence structure slightly affect the smoothness of the progression. Overall, the information is presented in a coherent manner that is easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended meaning with some flexibility. The student uses relevant academic terms such as 'cornerstone', 'curriculum', and 'psychological impact'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'building a strong foundation of students' (should be 'for students') and 'servers as the cornerstone' (should be 'serves'). While there is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, the range is not consistently sophisticated. Nevertheless, the vocabulary is adequate for the task, and errors do not impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is a good attempt at using complex sentences, though these are sometimes marred by grammatical errors. For instance, there are subject-verb agreement issues ('enhance mental well-being' should be 'enhances') and punctuation errors, such as the comma splice in the first paragraph. Additionally, there are minor spelling errors like 'Undoubtedtly' and 'tecahers'. While the errors are noticeable, they do not significantly impede the reader's understanding. A wider range of error-free complex structures would be required for a higher band score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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