Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many people discuss that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. While, others say that it is also important for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom.

However, in primary schools they focus on formal learning of children. The school administration focus on only studies of the children. This is how children start disliking school because they only had to study there. And if they do not perform well in the exam or class they even get punish from their class teacher. The primary school should be easy for the children. If primary schools will be enjoyable for children so they will start liking school. For example, in primary schools of different countries they only do not teach children's and not even pressure them for studies.

Moreover, studies are crucial for children's but we should not pressure them to perform good or punish them for bad grades in exam. In primary school we should teach children's only with different games. Although this will develop their interest in studies. Furthermore, playing different games and sports in primary school is really important. As physical activities of children's improves through physical fitness. As sports are also important for brain. For example, countries like( Denmark, USA, UK and China) do not allow primary school to teach children they can only teach them with games.

In conclusion, It is really crucial for children's to play sports or games in primary schools then studying. Although, parents of children's force them to perform well. Which, is not a good thing. Even though our government should take strict action against this.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, expressing a clear position that primary schools should prioritize play over formal learning. However, the development of ideas is limited. The arguments are repetitive, and the examples provided—such as the claim that countries like the UK and China do not teach children at all—are factually inaccurate and lack depth. The response would benefit from more nuanced reasoning regarding the balance between academic foundations and developmental play, rather than suggesting an either-or approach. The conclusion introduces new ideas about government intervention that were not previously developed in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is often disjointed. While some cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', 'In conclusion'), they are sometimes used incorrectly or mechanically. For instance, 'Although' is used at the start of sentences where it does not logically connect the preceding thought to the following one. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences is frequently interrupted by grammatical errors, which makes the overall argument feel somewhat fragmented. Improved use of linking words and better sentence-to-sentence transitions would enhance the logical flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally basic and repetitive. Words like 'children's' (used incorrectly as a possessive form throughout) and 'studies' are used frequently without variation. There are noticeable errors in word choice, such as 'get punish' instead of 'get punished' and 'perform good' instead of 'perform well'. The range is limited to common, everyday language, and there is little attempt to use more sophisticated or academic vocabulary. To improve, you should focus on learning collocations and ensuring that word forms (nouns vs. adjectives vs. verbs) are used accurately in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There is a consistent misuse of the plural possessive 'children's' when the plural noun 'children' is required. Subject-verb agreement is also problematic, such as 'school administration focus' instead of 'focuses'. Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at complex sentences often result in errors, such as 'If primary schools will be enjoyable for children so they will start liking school.' Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and parentheses. A greater focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors is necessary.

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