Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Many individuals believe that primary education place excessive emphasis on formal academic leaning. I strongly agree with this view, although i acknowledge that structured learning is necessary for kids to develop essential for basic skill. In my opinion, however, schools should give considerably more attention to play and other forms of activity .

One on one hand , I agree with this view is that excessive formal instruction can be inappropriate for young children. Primary education gives student generally have relatively short attention spans, and requiring them to spend most of the day sitting through lessons, completing worksheets and preparing for test may lead to boredom and unnecessary pressure, As a result, enthusiastic about learning. A more varied approach, combining traditional lessons with practical and enjoyable activities, would allow children to remain engaged while still acquiring important knowledge.

Play is particularly important because it contributes to several areas of children's development that cannot be fully achieved through classroom instruction. Physical games can improve fitness, coordination and overall physical health, while team activities teach children how to communicate, cooperate and follow rules. In addition, competitive games can help them develop confidence and learn how to deal with both success and failure. For example, a child who regularly participates in team sports may learn to share responsibility with others and accept defeat without giving up. These social and emotional skills can be valuable throughout their education and later lives.

Nevertheless, I do not believe that formal learning should be neglected. Primary education must provide children with a solid foundation in subjects such as reading, writing and mathematics. These basic abilities are essential for understanding more advanced concepts in secondary school and for functioning effectively in everyday life. However, the importance of these subjects does not mean that academic instruction should dominate the entire school experience.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that primary schools can devote too much time to formal learning. While academic instruction is essential for building fundamental knowledge, play should occupy a significant place in primary education because it promotes children's physical, social and emotional development.they may gradually lose their natural curiosity and become less

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt clearly. You establish a strong, consistent position from the introduction, arguing that primary education is overly formal and that play is essential for holistic development. The ideas are well-supported with relevant examples, such as the benefits of team sports for social and emotional growth. The argument is logical and well-developed throughout the essay. To reach a higher band, ensure that all sentences are fully integrated into the flow of the text; for example, the final sentence of the conclusion appears disconnected from the rest of the paragraph, which slightly disrupts the development of your final point.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate the introduction, the arguments for play, the necessity of formal learning, and the conclusion. You use a range of cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'Nevertheless', and 'As a result' to link ideas. However, there are minor mechanical errors in cohesion, such as the phrase 'One on one hand' which is redundant, and the awkward placement of the final sentence in the conclusion. These minor issues prevent the flow from being entirely seamless, but the overall structure remains clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with precision. Phrases like 'excessive emphasis', 'holistic development', and 'solid foundation' show a good command of academic language. There are occasional minor errors, such as 'academic leaning' instead of 'learning' and 'preparing for test' (should be plural 'tests'). While you use some less common items, the vocabulary is generally functional rather than highly sophisticated. To improve, focus on ensuring accurate word forms and collocations to enhance the naturalness of your expression.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. You demonstrate control over complex sentences, such as 'A more varied approach, combining traditional lessons with practical and enjoyable activities, would allow children to remain engaged'. However, there are several grammatical slips, including subject-verb agreement issues ('primary education place' instead of 'places') and missing articles ('preparing for test'). Punctuation is generally accurate, though there are occasional errors like the comma splice in 'As a result, enthusiastic about learning'. These errors do not impede communication, but they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.