Band 7.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 7.5)
Some people argue that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning. While I agree that academic education is important for young children, I believe that play should have an equally significant role in the primary classroom, as it contributes to their social, emotional and cognitive development.
There is no doubt that formal learning is essential during the primary school years. Children need to develop fundamental skills such as reading, writing and basic mathematics, which provide the foundation for their future education. Moreover, structured lessons can teach children discipline, concentration and the ability to follow instructions. For example, regular mathematics exercises can help young learners develop logical thinking and problem-solving skills. Therefore, completely replacing formal education with play would not be an effective approach.
However, I believe that primary schools can sometimes place excessive emphasis on academic performance, particularly when children are expected to spend long periods sitting in classrooms and completing worksheets. At this age, children learn effectively through exploration and practical experiences rather than simply memorising information. Excessive academic pressure may also reduce their enjoyment of learning and limit opportunities to develop creativity.
For this reason, play is extremely important in primary education. It allows children to develop communication, cooperation and problem-solving skills in a natural and enjoyable way. For instance, group games can teach children how to share, negotiate and work as a team, while role-playing activities can improve their imagination and communication abilities. Physical play is also beneficial because it helps children develop coordination and maintain a healthy lifestyle. Importantly, play and learning do not have to be separate activities. Teachers can incorporate educational games, puzzles, experiments and outdoor activities into lessons so that children learn while remaining actively engaged.
In conclusion, I partly agree that primary schools may focus too heavily on formal learning. Although academic subjects are essential, play is equally important because it supports children's overall development. The most effective primary education should therefore combine structured learning with regular opportunities for creative, social and physical play.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.5 |
| Overall | 7.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5
The response fully addresses both parts of the prompt. You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay. The arguments regarding the importance of formal learning and the necessity of play are well-developed and supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of 'group games' and 'role-playing activities' to foster social skills. The ideas are extended logically, and the conclusion effectively synthesizes your main points. You have successfully balanced the two sides of the argument, demonstrating a clear understanding of the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the transition between the necessity of formal learning and the benefits of play is smooth, facilitated by the use of linking words like 'However' and 'For this reason'. Cohesive devices are used effectively and naturally, such as 'Moreover', 'Therefore', and 'In conclusion'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, making the essay easy to follow. The flow of information is consistent, and the relationship between sentences is clear throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary that is appropriate for an academic context. Phrases like 'excessive emphasis', 'fundamental skills', and 'actively engaged' show a level of precision and flexibility. While the vocabulary is accurate and conveys your meaning well, it could be elevated further to reach the highest band by incorporating more sophisticated, less common collocations or idiomatic expressions. However, the current range is sufficient to express complex ideas clearly, and there are no errors in word choice or spelling that impede communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.5
The essay displays a wide range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences with subordinate clauses (e.g., 'While I agree that...', 'Teachers can incorporate... so that children learn...'). The majority of your sentences are error-free, and your control over punctuation and tense usage is strong. You use a variety of sentence forms effectively to maintain interest and clarity. There are no significant grammatical errors, and the few minor slips that might occur do not affect the overall readability or the professional tone of the writing.
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