Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The primary schools are almost present in every town of a city. The basic education, the development, the mentality of student is nourished in the school. Keeping in view that some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal education, I am 80% agreed with this argument. The children in primary schools have childish mentality, they need relaxation of mind as well as education. If we put too much burden on their minds in the name of studies then they feel exhausted.

The school going children gets bored by sitting at same place for long time and their picks nothing about studies . On the other hand, some people thinks that sports remove the focus of children from studies. But actually, the school is meant for studies not for sports. If a student is too interested in sports, he or she will be asked to become a professional player.

The argument is correct for those children who actually have interest in studies. Some children join school only for fun and they need a reason to stay away from studies. Sports are important for brain refreshment. It doesn't mean that primary schools should become play grounds.

I am 80% agreed with the argument because I felt that sports are very important for our physical and mental health. Sports keep our mind fresh. It also regulates the flow of blood in our body. It gives peace to the mind so that children can actually focus on their studies.

I personally feels that sports are as much important as studies because I'm that student in my school who waited a lot for sports day. It gives us relief from daily boring routine of work.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, though the development of ideas is somewhat inconsistent. You clearly state your position (80% agreement), but the reasoning is occasionally contradictory. For instance, you argue that schools should focus on studies, yet later emphasize the necessity of play. The ideas are relevant but lack depth; for example, the claim that 'school is meant for studies not for sports' is a strong assertion that requires more nuanced exploration regarding the holistic development of a child. To improve, ensure your arguments are consistently aligned and supported with more detailed explanations or concrete examples rather than personal anecdotes.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'On the other hand' and 'The argument is correct' are used, but the transitions between sentences are often abrupt. The logical progression is occasionally hindered by the lack of clear linking words between ideas within paragraphs. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in contrast') to create a smoother flow between your points.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'childish mentality' and 'boring routine'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'picks nothing about studies' and 'relaxation of mind'. While your meaning is clear, the vocabulary does not demonstrate the flexibility or sophistication needed to express complex ideas effectively. Try to incorporate more academic collocations and topic-specific terminology related to education and child development to enhance your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('The school going children gets', 'some people thinks', 'I personally feels') and article usage errors ('in every town of a city'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent throughout the text. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring consistent tense usage, as these foundational elements are essential for higher band scores.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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