Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Primary schools have become too focused on formal education and curriculam rather than actual learning. I fully agree to this statement and its this very reason that anti-socialistic tendencies are appearing more and more in the young children. Primary schools are emphasizing more in formal learning while lessening the importance of playing sports or physical activity. Lack of physical activity in adolesence leads to severe cases of obesity in the later stages of life followed by poor team coordination and development of lethargy from early age. In this digital age, most of the education is imparted from the internet in the form of online journal,books and now classes are also being conducted in online mode, although it has made learning progressively easy it also lead to people of all age group attached to screens for their majority of time. Among all the age groups, young people in particularly contribute to majority percentage. People who rarely engage in physical activity also have reduced endurance, stamina and due to this exposure of screens from an very early age, majority of children are reported to have eyesight problems leading to usage of spectacles from an early age.

It is very important for children to play as well as learn in primary schools as playing with folks of same age group not only aids in improving communication skills but also other social skills. Research also shows that children who are engaged in any form of sports demonstate a higher levels of team coordination and better social skills along with hightened energy levels and endurance than those who are likely to engage in any physical activity.

In order to summarise, different curriculam in education is being introduced on a daily basis due to immense pool of information which is available, however it should not influence or reduce the importance of physical activity that it has on people on every age group specially children

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: it clearly expresses agreement regarding formal learning and discusses the importance of play in primary school. A position is presented right away, stating that primary schools are too focused on formal education. Ideas are extended with discussions on physical activity, obesity, and social skills. However, the development tends to wander into tangents regarding online learning, screen time, and eyesight issues, which somewhat deflects from the core focus on formal learning versus play in primary schools. Furthermore, some arguments are generalised without sufficient specific examples from personal experience. This places the response comfortably at Band 6.0, as all parts of the task are addressed, but some ideas are slightly under-developed or less focused.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates an overall coherent arrangement, but the paragraphing is a significant weakness. The entire body of argument is compressed into one massive block of text before a second body paragraph and a concluding sentence. This violates standard essay structure expectations. While there are some cohesive devices used such as 'although', 'in the form of', and 'in order to summarise', referencing and logical progression within the first body paragraph become cluttered due to jumping between formal education, online learning, physical activity, and eyesight problems. Cohesion is therefore at times faulty and mechanical. The conclusion is also extremely abrupt. This performance fits the Band 5.5 to 6.0 range; given the structural issues with paragraphing, Band 5.5 is appropriate.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student displays an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common words and phrases such as 'anti-socialistic tendencies', 'lethargy', 'endurance', and 'stamina'. However, there are notable spelling errors ('curriculam' instead of curriculum, 'adolesence' instead of adolescence, 'demonstate' instead of demonstrate, 'hightened' instead of heightened) and minor word choice inaccuracies (e.g., 'folks of same age group' instead of peers). Despite these errors, communication is not impeded, and the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended meaning. This aligns well with the Band 6 descriptor, which allows for some spelling and word-choice errors that do not impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some ambitious structures such as 'People who rarely engage in physical activity also have reduced endurance...'. However, there are persistent grammatical errors and missing articles throughout the text, including 'and its this very reason' (it's for its), 'emphasizing more in formal learning' (emphasizing more on), 'from an very early age' (an very), and run-on sentences with comma splices. Punctuation is also neglected in places, such as missing terminal punctuation in the final sentence. While complex structures are attempted, they are often slightly flawed. This performance matches the Band 5.5 descriptors, where a mix of structures exists alongside frequent errors that occasionally cause difficulty.

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