Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

most of the people argue that primary schools mostly focus on formal learning, it is important to learn children primary school and play.

Overall, the primary schools focus on formal learning the children don't how to behave with other children or teachers so they focus on formal learning how to maintain discplane, deginty, discane those three are learning from schooling, A good example that in the primary school was children learning state they begin with primary how to do their own work like eating, maintain neatness, communicate good with others, the children are 3 to 5 years studied formal learning their studies also starting from their they mostly learn basic languages like Maths, English and Hindi they learn alphabets.

the children can play in primary school in the schooling children are doing some activities, playing and learning mostly the children as their in mind they want to play games with toys, other persons as well as learn new activities, words the primary schooling has mostly their learning stage, For example mostly children can play with toys but in there primary school some times they play, sleep after their lunch hour nearly 1 to 2 hours they can sleep in their class room.

In conclusion, i agree for above condition most of the people think that school can focus on formal learning but the teachers are taking responsibilites to children with play some activites then they become active children they forgot home, parents communicate with new friends, In my opinion the primary schools are not focus on formal learning they focus on activity, learning alphabets.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address both parts of the prompt regarding formal learning in primary schools and the importance of play. However, the ideas are underdeveloped and lack clear elaboration. The student touches on behavior, discipline, and basic subjects like Maths and English, but the reasoning is often repetitive and difficult to follow. Phrases such as 'most of the people argue that primary schools mostly focus on formal learning' show a basic attempt to address the task, but the overall position lacks strong, coherent development throughout. This performance aligns closely with the Band 5 descriptors, as the task is addressed only partially and ideas remain limited.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The text is divided into paragraphs, but the overall progression of ideas is frequently disrupted by poor sentence structure and weak linking devices. The introduction and conclusion are disjointed, and transitional phrases are either missing or misused, such as 'In conclusion, i agree for above condition'. Referencing is often unclear, leaving the reader confused about the connections between ideas. While there is some basic organization, the lack of clear logical progression and faulty cohesion places this response within the Band 4 to Band 5 range, leaning towards a Band 4 due to the frequency of structural disruption.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent word-choice and collocation errors. Examples such as 'discplane, deginty, discane' (discipline, dignity) and 'communicate good with others' demonstrate noticeable limitations. While the student attempts to use less common vocabulary like 'dignity' and 'responsibilities', spelling and form errors ('studied formal learning', 'there primary school') cause difficulty for the reader and restrict the range. This falls under the Band 4 descriptor, where basic and repetitive vocabulary and frequent errors strain the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences are frequently faulty, resulting in run-on sentences and punctuation errors. For instance, sentences like 'the children can play in primary school in the schooling children are doing some activities...' lack proper subordination and grammatical boundaries. Grammatical errors are very frequent, including subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect verb tenses, and missing articles. These errors often distort meaning and cause significant difficulty for the reader, matching the Band 4 descriptors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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