Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Education plays a vital role in shaping young individuals by instilling key qualities like discipline, creative-thinking, and ethics and morals in them. Some might argue that primary schools give excessive focus on formal learning. I agree with the statement because I believe at the start of kids learning journey, their education should be balanced with a mix of fun and formal curricula.

To begin with, young kids are not habitual to attend school. It slowly becomes a habit for them, due to which, the curriculum should be designed in an interactive manner that allow children to experience the joy of studying. Although focusing on important subjects is crucial and doing so from a young age might allow some students to be extremely passionate about learning, it may also demotivate students if heavy teaching and excessive workload is imposed on primary school kids. For instance, if students are made to focus on more technical and theory based subjects from a young age, then their creative minds would not have the room to develop. This might develop similar interest in students in choosing career choices which might deprive them from opting for a future they will exel in, like if a student thrives in arts but is forced down the science field by their parents then they may end up wasting their true potential.

In addition to this, I believe playing activities should be as important as the STEM subjects in schools as it give students opportunities to expand their minds when they move their bodies and interact with kids while playing. Games and Sports require tactical thinking and strategies which can teach students vital skills like problem-solving, critical thinking etc, which are essential and beneficial for their future. Therefore, giving extra curricular activites equal importance in schools not only help students grow intellectually but also allow them to explore new activities and prevent them from living a robotic life.

In conclusion, formal learning plays an important role in providing students with proper education, however, it should not become excessive and work hand in hand with extracurricular activites as it gives students the room to breathe, expand their minds and improve their overall performance in schools.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response effectively addresses all parts of the two-part prompt by taking a clear stance on primary schools focusing too much on formal learning and discussing the importance of play in the classroom. The introduction clearly outlines the writer's position, and the body paragraphs offer relevant ideas, such as the potential negative impact of heavy workloads on creativity and the developmental benefits of play and sports. While some arguments, such as the example regarding career choices, are slightly generalised, they are sufficiently extended and supported with logical explanations and examples, satisfying the requirements for Band 7.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates clear logical organisation and progression throughout. The response is divided into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, two distinct body paragraphs supporting different aspects of the prompt, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used reasonably well, such as 'To begin with', 'In addition to this', and 'In conclusion', which guide the reader smoothly through the argument. However, referencing is occasionally repetitive, and some transitional phrases feel slightly mechanical, preventing the response from reaching a higher band level.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The writer demonstrates an adequate to sufficient range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'curricula', 'excessive workload', 'tactical thinking', and 'intellectually'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'kids learning journey' (instead of child's learning journey), 'habitual to attend' (accustomed to attending), and 'exel' (excel). However, these vocabulary errors are infrequent and do not impede communication, making this a solid performance fitting Band 6.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating conditional structures and relative clauses effectively. There are several instances of good control over complex structures, such as 'Although focusing on important subjects is crucial... it may also demotivate students if heavy teaching... is imposed'. However, there are grammatical errors and punctuation issues scattered throughout, including subject-verb agreement slips like 'allow children' instead of 'allows' and missing apostrophes in 'kids learning journey'. Despite these errors, meaning is rarely obscured, aligning well with the Band 6 descriptors.

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