Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Education plays a vital role in shaping young individuals by instilling key qualities like discipline, creative thinking, and ethics and morals in them. Some might argue that primary schools give excessive focus on formal learning. I agree with the statement because I believe at the start of kids learning journey, their education should be balanced with a mix of fun and formal curricula.

To begin with, young kids are not habitual to attend school. It slowly becomes a habit for them, due to which, the curriculum should be designed in an interactive manner that allows children to experience the joy of studying. Although focusing on important subjects is crucial and doing so from a young age might allow some students to be extremely passionate about learning, it may also demotivate students if heavy teaching and excessive workload is imposed on primary school kids. For instance, if students are made to focus on more technical and theory based subjects from a young age, then their creative minds would not have the room to develop. This might develop similar interest in students in choosing career choices which might deprive them from opting for a future they will excel in, like if a student thrives in arts but is forced down the science field by their parents then they may end up wasting their true potential.

In addition to this, I believe playing activities should be as important as the STEM subjects in schools as it give students various opportunities to expand their minds when they move their bodies and interact with kids while playing. Games and Sports require tactical thinking and strategies which can teach students vital skills like problem-solving, critical thinking etc, which are essential and beneficial for their future. Therefore, giving extracurricular activites equal importance in schools not only help students grow intellectually but also allows them to explore new activities and prevent them from living a robotic life.

In conclusion, formal learning plays an important role in providing students with proper education, however, it should not become excessive and work hand in hand with extracurricular activites as it gives students the room to breathe, expand their minds and improve their overall performance in schools.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response successfully addresses both parts of the two-part prompt. The writer clearly states their position in the introduction, agreeing that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and they effectively discuss the importance of play alongside formal education. Main ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as the discussion on career choices and the developmental benefits of games and sports. While the reasoning could occasionally be pushed deeper, the writer covers all parts of the task well and maintains a clear position throughout, fulfilling the requirements for Band 7.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay displays a clear overall progression with a logical layout. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with distinct sections for the introduction, body paragraphs addressing different angles, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used reasonably well, such as 'To begin with', 'Although', 'In addition to this', and 'In conclusion'. However, referencing and transitions are at times slightly mechanical or prone to minor cohesion slips, such as the phrasing in 'due to which'. Overall, the text remains coherent and easy to follow, aligning closely with Band 7 descriptors.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The student demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow for flexibility and precision, employing terms like 'instilling key qualities', 'interactive manner', 'theory based subjects', and 'tactical thinking'. There are some successful attempts at less common vocabulary, alongside minor inaccuracies in word choice or collocation, such as 'young kids are not habitual to attend school' (instead of accustomed) and 'extracurricular activites' (spelling slip). Nevertheless, the vocabulary is adequate for the task and does not impede communication, comfortably securing a Band 6.5 or solid 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating control over conditional structures and subordinate clauses, as seen in 'if students are made to focus on more technical... then their creative minds would not have the room to develop.' There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings present throughout, such as 'give excessive focus on' (instead of place/give excessive focus to) and subject-verb agreement slips like 'activites... help'. However, these errors rarely impede communication, allowing the essay to meet the criteria for a Band 6.

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