Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It has been argued that primary schools often give more importance to formal learning. While the others believe that they are a part of education. This essay will discuss both the opinions before presenting my own.

I completely agree with this opinion because the importance of other activities such as play and games have declined dramatically. Moreover, I think that games should also be considered equally important as learning. Meanwhile, this will not only help a child to develop mentally but also physically. For instance, If a school only focuses on completing a syllabus, then the child may learn or memorize the lessons but he will lack certain skills that will only be achievable by doing extra curricular activities.

Another factor is that, it is very important for a child to play as well as learn because it will impact their cognitive ability. Moreover, if a classroom focuses only on formal learning then the child will lack some skills and as a result, it will have a negative impact in the long term. For example, If a child is only taught to read and write, then growing up that child will lack a few skills that require physical strength resulting in the underdevelopment of the child.

Therefore, I completely agree that it is very important for the schools to understand that other activities such as games are equally important for a child's overall growth. Consequently, I also believe that play should be mandated and integrated by every school, so that every child has an opportunity to develop in a holistic manner.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt by discussing the focus on formal learning and the importance of play in primary education, while taking a clear position. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive. For example, the student reiterates the notion that a lack of play leads to a lack of skills in both the second and third body paragraphs without introducing substantial new extension. The opening paragraph also contains a slight contradiction by stating 'While the others believe that they are a part of education' which is a fragmented and unclear thesis outline. Because the position is stated and ideas are relevant despite some under-development and repetition, the response fits the Band 6 profile well.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay presents a clear overall arrangement with discernible paragraphing, fulfilling standard essay structure requirements with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty and mechanical. The transition 'While the others believe...' is grammatically incomplete and disrupts logical flow. Furthermore, cohesive devices like 'Moreover', 'Meanwhile', and 'Consequently' are occasionally overused or misused in terms of logical relationship, such as 'Meanwhile, this will not only help a child to develop...'. Referencing is also slightly unclear at times, as seen with ambiguous pronoun usage ('they are a part of education'). Progression is hindered by the repetitive nature of the arguments rather than smooth logical steps, placing this performance at Band 6.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating topic-related terms such as 'formal learning', 'syllabus', 'extra curricular activities', 'cognitive ability', and 'holistic manner'. However, there are notable word choice and collocation issues, such as 'give more importance to formal learning' (usually 'place' or 'attach' importance), and minor phrasing awkwardness like 'achievable by doing'. There are also occasional spelling or punctuation slips, such as 'extra curricular' instead of 'extracurricular' and unnecessary commas (e.g., 'For instance, If...'). The vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the message with some attempts at less common phrasing, earning a Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures ('If a school only focuses on completing a syllabus, then the child may learn...') and relative clauses. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several punctuation and capitalisation errors following conjunctions or commas, as well as minor mechanical issues like 'If a school only focuses... but he will lack...'. Pronoun-antecedent agreement slips occur, such as shifting between plural 'children'/'their' and singular 'the child'/'he'. Despite these frequent errors, meaning is rarely impeded, and the sentence structures attempted show a reasonable range, aligning well with the Band 6 descriptors.

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