Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-13
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Some people think that formal learning is too much focused in primary schools. I totally disagree with this opinion as extra curricular activities are also important for the healthy growth of young childrens. This essay discusses the reasons and suitable example to support my opinion.
First of all, extra curricular activities are equally important as formal learning in classroom. Schools launch the events at regular intervals like sports gala, annual games competition, magic shows, etc, to keep the kids' mind fresh and healthy. This does not mean to not give importance to formal training or learning in classrooms.
These activities outside the doors of class help the kids to sharpen their minds and make them healthy and sound. In this way, they don't get tired or bored at school and take part actively in each activity. I still remember the colors day and sports day in my school every month in which we enjoyed many outdoor activities in school ground and dedicated lawn for colors day. These things also give the good memories to childrens that they always remember in life. Combination of curricular and extra-curricular activities in school policies bring good results in the form of healthy growth of kids. In order to prepare them for further education, this planned policy plays a vital role.
In conclusion, focus only or too much on formal learning is not enough for the healthy growth of kids' mind. Schools should focus on extra-curricular activities alongwith formal education. These healthy activities will help them to get sharpen in their studies. So, I am very clear with my opinion and disagree with the given opinion.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the two-part prompt by stating a clear position against the idea that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and by discussing the importance of play and extra-curricular activities alongside academic studies. The student presents relevant ideas, such as how events like sports days and festivals keep children mentally refreshed and promote healthy growth. However, the development of these ideas remains somewhat general and repetitive, lacking fully elaborated real-world examples or deeper exploration. The opening overview outlines the essay's structure rather than developing the argument itself. While all parts of the task are addressed, the depth of discussion aligns best with Band 6.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Logical progression is visible through transitional markers such as 'First of all,' 'In this way,' and 'In conclusion.' However, paragraphing is somewhat weak; the second body paragraph is overly long and combines distinct ideas—such as personal anecdotes, the benefits of outdoor activities, and institutional policy—making the flow slightly disjointed. Cohesive devices are occasionally mechanical or repetitive, and referencing is sometimes imprecise, as seen in the phrase 'These things also give the good memories.' Overall, the organizational structure is adequate for a Band 6.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, successfully incorporating terms like 'extra curricular activities,' 'healthy growth,' and 'institutional policies.' However, there are noticeable word choice and morphological errors, such as 'too much focused' instead of 'too focused,' and the persistent plural form 'childrens,' which is incorrect. Attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'sharpen their minds' and 'dedicated lawn,' are somewhat unnatural or basic. While communication is never impeded by these lexical limitations, the frequency of errors and the lack of a wider, more flexible lexical range place this response firmly in the Band 6 category.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The student demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like relative clauses ('events that we enjoyed') and conditional framing. However, grammatical control is inconsistent, with noticeable errors appearing throughout the text. Examples include 'Some people think that formal learning is too much focused,' 'focus only or too much on formal learning is not enough,' and missing articles. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but grammatical errors occasionally distract the reader, though they rarely impede overall communication. The range of structures combined with frequent minor errors reflects the characteristics of Band 6.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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