Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Focus area of initial schooling of children is consequential in shaping personality and career of students. Some people believe that initial classes of schools emphasize formal learning much more than any other learning. This essay will look at these arguments and discuss the importance of sports for school children. In my opinion, schools are focusing too much on formal education and they should encourage students to learn sports as well.

Education system of schools is designed for formal education. School focus on formal learning because they dont prioritize teaching other things like sports, survival and life essential skills. In most schools, they teach traditional courses including mathematics, science, languages, and computer science. Students attend these classes one after the other throughout the day and at the end of semester, they are evaluated based on only these tradtional subjects. So children automatically dont take interest in other learning domains. Besides this, the teachers and instructors at schools were once students who passed from the same institutes and system. That is why these instructors lack skills and training other than formal education.

Learning beyond formal learning is essential and might be equally beneficial. Formal education teaches how to pass exams and excell academically while learning beyond this may teach students how to navigate life. When children learn how to play different sports, they learn skills like teamwork, effective and timely communication with peers, time management and performing under pressure. They can utilize these skills in their careers much better than students who dont participate and learn sports. Apart from this, sports can improve physical and mental well-being of children. Mental health is as important as physical health and with good health, these students can focus better on their formal education as well.

In summary, schools are emphasing formal learning too much. This is due to the current system of schools which does not allow and teach learning beyond classroom. Participation in sports is equally important as academics as it can improve overall health of children and help them learn many skills.

In my view, currently schools are too much focused on formal learning and they should consider the introduction of sports activities in schools.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt successfully. You present a clear position that schools focus too much on formal education and that sports and play are crucial for development. Your ideas are extended and supported well, such as discussing how sports teach teamwork, time management, and performance under pressure. However, some arguments, like the training background of teachers, feel slightly under-developed or tangential, and the conclusion is somewhat repetitive. Overall, your ideas are relevant, and the task requirements are thoroughly met.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

Your essay has a clear logical progression and is divided into appropriate paragraphs, starting with an introduction, exploring the focus on formal learning, discussing the benefits of sports, and concluding with a summary and personal view. You use cohesive devices such as 'Besides this', 'Apart from this', and 'In summary'. However, referencing and transitions are occasionally mechanical, and some sentences lack smooth inter-sentence connections. Paragraphing is used sufficiently, but overall cohesion could be more flexible and natural to achieve a higher band.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms like 'consequential', 'traditional courses', 'navigate life', and 'physical and mental well-being'. However, there are noticeable word-choice and collocation errors throughout the text, such as writing 'Focus area of initial schooling' instead of 'The focus of initial schooling', and 'tradtional' (spelling error). You attempt less common lexical items, but inaccuracies in collocation and word forms prevent a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating conditional ideas and relative clauses effectively. However, there are numerous grammatical errors, particularly missing articles ('School focus on formal learning', 'children automatically dont take interest', 'teachers and instructors at schools were once students') and punctuation issues. While these errors do not impede communication, their frequency prevents you from reaching Band 7, as error-free sentences are not in the majority.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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