Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Educational institutes often deals with educating children. However, it is often argued that these corporations are more focused on academic learning. Although this learning is proven to be beneficial in developing students critical thinking and widening their knowledge, I personally believe that these institutions should have a balanced approach where it not only teaches core subjects but also enables children to play and have a fun so that they can be physically as well as mentally fit.

The primary reason why first-level schools are more concerned about formal learning is that it allows children to broaden their knowlege.To be more precise, when a topic is introduced, all aspects related to that particular subject is included so that it can be understood from all perspectives such as its origin, applications and future aspect. For example, in understanding the working of human heart one needs to understand whole human body, their organs, so that they have proper knowledge of how blood is circulated. As a result, it take long time to explain everything in detail, so that is why schools are more pressurized to complete these core subjects and left with no time to include other recreational activities in school curriculum.

However, a good school is one which has a balanced approach of everything.Inclusion of sports and recreational activities provides learners a chance to destress themselves by from the burden of educational content, which helps them to reduce their mental stress. In addition to this, playing is asssociated with hidden talents in which some children who are not good at studies can pursue their interest in these activities and can preserve their future. For instance, Virat kholi, a renowned cricketer, who was not good at his school found interest in sports and eventally become a sports-star. Therefore, it is essential for schools to reform their curriculum and take consideration of such activities, so that students can unwind themselves.

In conclusion, it is true that schools pressurized formal learning in order to boost learners knowledge, I still believe that having a appropriate schedule where children can learn as well play can be beneficial for both their mental and physical health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt by discussing both the focus on formal learning in primary schools and the importance of play alongside learning. The position is clear throughout, and relevant ideas are extended and supported. For instance, the writer explains why schools feel pressurized to complete core subjects using the example of learning about the human body. However, the development in the second body paragraph tends to over-generalize slightly regarding children who struggle with traditional studies finding success exclusively in sports. Overall, the task is well-handled and meets the criteria for Band 7.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay presents a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a clear central topic, such as the introduction of the debate in the first paragraph, the reasons for academic focus in the second, and the benefits of recreational activities in the third. Cohesive devices are used adequately, including transition markers like 'However', 'In addition to this', and 'In conclusion'. Paragraphing is used appropriately. However, some minor mechanical errors in cohesion and referencing prevent a higher score, such as the missing space after punctuation marks and slightly repetitive sentence openers.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision, such as 'recreational activities', 'curriculum', and 'destress'. There are also attempts to use less common items, although some word choices and collocations show occasional awkwardness, such as 'corporations' instead of 'institutions', 'preserve their future', and spelling mistakes like 'knowlege', 'asssociated', 'eventally', and 'pressurized' where 'prioritise' or 'emphasise' might be more fitting. Despite these occasional inaccuracies, the vocabulary is adequate for the task and communication is not impeded.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at subordination and relative clauses, such as 'Although this learning is proven to be beneficial...' and '...some children who are not good at studies can pursue their interest...'. However, there are noticeable grammatical errors and awkward phrasing throughout, such as 'Educational institutes often deals' (subject-verb agreement), 'play and have a fun', 'it take long time', and missing articles. Punctuation spacing is also inconsistent. These errors occur frequently enough to place the grammar securely at Band 6, though they do not impede overall communication.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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